Pass the Pineapple... or Just the Pass

Every mom or soon-to-be mom knows that you get lots of free 'advice' from others about being pregnant and parenting.  I think I actually get more 'advice' here in Singapore than I did in Canada.

Today while out to lunch with a friend and her son, I ordered fresh pineapple juice.  One of the perks of living here is the incredibly delicious and huge variety of fruit and fruit juices!  The waitress paused... then she said, "Maybe you shouldn't have pineapple juice... it's really not good for you right now."  I'm very obviously pregnant and even though this is my second time around, I'd never heard about this.  Neither did my friend who has two young children.  The waitress didn't know why it wasn't good for me.  So I had to google it of course (don't you love that google is a verb now?).  It's an old wive's tale that pineapple brings on contractions... and there is some evidence that large amounts of it can.  I love pineapple.  I ate a big plate of it last weekend for breakfast.  Anyway, to avoid the 'look' of judgement and just in case she was right, I ordered green apple juice.  She felt this was a good choice.  Then I ordered coffee.  Her response was, "We have decaf..."  My response, "Umm, no I indulge in one thing and that's coffee - I'll have regular."  *smile and giggle*  Thankfully, this was a restaurant frequented by expats so getting normal coffee with fresh milk on the side was not a problem (although the milk is always heated and I like mine cold).  By the way, the waitress was actually really sweet and was just acting out of concern for me.

Last week while in a taxi, the driver asked if I was going to be in confinement after the baby is born.  I said no.  He looked at me like I was absolutely nuts... crazy... it must be my 8-month pregnant hormones talking!  Terry added that this is my second child.  Ohhhh..... well, that's not so bad then... but he still seemed concerned.  It's customary around here for new Chinese moms and their babies to go in confinement for one month (it's 44 days for Malays and 30-40 days for Indians).  The belief is that your body is out of balance that first month and you need that time to re-energize and recover from giving birth.  Many people hire a confinement nanny, a pui yuet, who assists with all you and baby need.  

Sounds good, lah?  Wellll..... there are rules to follow during Chinese confinement.  You must stay inside.  You must not wash your hair.  You must avoid cold elements such as cold water or air conditioning (it is believed this is a 'cold' stage due to loss of blood and energy).  You must bath only with water specially prepared with specific herbs.  If you follow these rules for retaining heat in your body, it is said you will avoid other health issues later in life.

Although the idea of confinement is attractive health-wise, I will likely go for daily walks with baby in my carrier, wash my hair (if I have the time and energy), and bask in the air conditioning.  Today I was going to update my Facebook status to say, "I am a furnace."  I am looking forward to cooling off - although that may not happen until I move back to Canada.  

Other things have been heating up these days besides me.  After my employment ended, my Employment Pass was terminated and I had a 30-day Social Visit Pass.  I traveled to Hong Kong via plane, and when I re-entered Singapore, I had another 30-day Social Visit Pass... which expires this coming weekend.  I applied for a Long Term Visit Pass and was declined.  Apparently, the route I took for my Long Term Visit Pass last Fall can only be taken once.  Now I need a local sponsor - which I do not have.  I appealed my application and included a letter from my doctor saying I need to stay here for medical reasons until the end of July.  My appeal was denied.  

Earlier this week Terry and I went to see someone at the Immigration Checkpoints Authority of Singapore.  The lady was... ummmm... rude.  Maybe she was having a bad day.  Maybe she didn't believe in our situation of not being married.  Maybe she was dealing with some serious personal issues.  Whatever the reasons for her poor service and lack of compassion, I have to admit I started to stress a little.  At the end of our conversation (which started to heat up since Terry was floored at the lack of help she was giving us), she mentioned something about the hospital helping us.  So we made our way to Thompson Medical Centre.  Indeed, they have a service to help with applying for Permission to Deliver in Singapore.  Who knew we'd need permission when I've been living here for almost a year?!  It all stems from not being married... we've considered just doing the deed to streamline this process, but, well, you know me;)  Anyway, the lady who is now helping us is soooo super sweet and compassionate and helpful.  She said for me not to stress.... Singapore is not so cruel to kick me out when I'm just about to deliver.

Upon her recommendation, I've applied for a 30-day extension to my Short Term Visit Pass.  That brings me to a couple of days after my delivery date - if in fact it is approved... I'm still waiting to hear.  We also need a Marriage Certificate for this application.  Since we do not have one, we need a letter from our Canadian Consulate stating the status of our relationship.  Turns out they won't provide one, but we can submit an affidavit stating our relationship.  And this needs to be notarized.  And the Notary Publics must be really busy these days because they aren't very available and it might take some time to get this accomplished... oh, and they don't necessarily accept all affidavits.  Today we'll submit our affidavit and see how it goes.

So right now, I'd be happy to pass on the pineapple, pass on the coffee, and get a Pass that allows me to stay in Singapore until we leave at the end of July.  Otherwise, I'm not sure where they'll send me since no airline will let me fly with them at this point in the pregnancy.  I'm trying to meditate and tell myself this is all going to work out fine... don't waste my energy on worrying about something that will probably not happen (thank-you Wayne Dyer for your book Your Erroneous Zones which I read several years ago).

Hmmmm.... if my 30-day extension is granted, maybe I should run down to the market and pick up a few pineapples.... I'll be able to fly 30 days after birth.  Shockin', wha?!

Three Steps One Bow

Three thousand people gathered at our community running track Monday evening for Three Steps One Bow.  It was Buddha's birthday yesterday (Vesak Day and a public holiday here to celebrate Buddha's birth, enlightenment, and death) and the celebrations overtook our community for days!  Another tent was erected in our community square for prayer, and chanting hung through the air.  The tent was filled with candles and flowers and many Buddhist quotes.  The whole affair was fabulous!

The 3 Steps 1 Bow event was a procession of a group of people who took three steps forward, got down on their knees and bowed, and got up again to repeat.  They repeated this for three hours.  A rhythmic chant with bells and chimes repeated throughout the procession.  We observed rather than participated due to my 'bigness' (my belly that is), but it was peaceful and energizing at the same time.  The purpose of the activity is to aggregate compassion, devotion, repentance, and gratitude, and offer these blessings to themselves, their families, society, Japan, and the World.

I have to admit it's been my favorite religious activity I've observed so far.

This practice is typically done as a pilgrimage for days... in silence... bowing in and for peace.... learning about yourself and others.  I read of a couple of monks who did this for three days taking no food but relying on strangers to feed them along the way.  An amazing practice of dependence and vulnerability.  People who have experienced this pilgrimage observe their thoughts to increase awareness, and their thoughts certainly include ones of food!

I think of food a lot these days.  Why does a 7 1/2 month pregnant woman think of food so much?  Indeed, I am hungry more frequently than 'normal'.  But even when I'm not hungry, I'm thinking of food.  In fact, I've been thinking of cheezies for weeks... and I can't find real cheezies in Singapore.

We missed the Dharma talk on Sunday evening past, but apparently there are Dharma talks at the Zen Centre here.  These talks might help me find the purpose of my obsession with food these days.  No seriously, I think attending a talk could help guide one towards their purpose in life.  Since we moved here, we've learned a lot about other cultures, traveling in itself, other people, and ourselves.  We've had a lot of change, and I've also had a very different experience than first intended.  I'm accepting, going with what is presented, and growing (in more ways than one!).  The next couple of years will bring much change and a little guidance for the future could certainly help.

Happy Birthday Buddha!  Thank-you for your teachings.

Ants In My Plants

I know I am very late writing about our recent travels in Bali, Hong Kong, and India.  But lately, I have something else on my mind....

When we first arrived in our condo, we spent weeks furnishing it to be homey.  Terry bought lots of plants and my daughter had her own couple of colorful cacti - Petunia and Clementine.  Singapore is full of greenery... the government has planted trees and plants everywhere - on highways, on top of buildings, in parks.  So when I look out my living room window, which is floor to ceiling, it's a wonderful green view.  However, having plants inside is relaxing and makes me feel closer to nature.

Last week, my daughter lifted her little Petunia and ants came sprawling out like a tsunami!  Petunia and Clementine were both full of them!  And we had to throw them out.  Terry's plants also underwent some strains when we were traveling, including having bugs, and although he tried several survival techniques, we now are plantless.  Since we are moving home in a few months, we'll just remain plantless until we get home.

I also am beginning to have ants in my pants.  I'm 32 weeks pregnant and am ready to get on with it all.  That said, we're enjoying our last bit of time here... and have decided that having a baby in Singapore is an international experience in itself.

The medical system here is quite different than home.  First of all, there is no waiting - big bonus.  But you pay for that - it's private health care.  The total cost of having a baby and all the pre- and post-medical treatment required will cost the down payment of a small house.  Canada really should give patients invoices showing the amount our government has paid for our medical, don't you think?  It would certainly give us an idea of where our taxes are going... and maybe how we can improve efficiencies too.  I'm sure we all know our health care system can be 'leaned up'... but I digress.

You go to the doc every 2-3 weeks here when you're expecting.  And you get an ultrasound at every visit.  It's really quite wonderful to have more accurate information about that living creature growing inside you.  When it's time to get your blood work, it's accessible (clinics located all over the place - the one I went to was right outside my condo!) and fast (virtually no line-up/queue).  The hospitals are like hotels.  The private rooms are simply lovely.... with lavish bed clothes, LCD TVs, CD players, soft lighting, aromatherapy, couches/chairs and, in some rooms, a table and chairs for eating meals.  Your partner can room in with you, and if you get the more expensive room, so can your other children.  Alternative therapies and delivery methods are widely used and accepted.  One delivery room in the hospital we're going to is specially outfitted with hydrotherapy equipment.

I've probably mentioned how the government is trying to get more couples to have children.  The birth rate isn't what they want it to be so there are programs and incentives for having babies.  Maybe having comfort and ease throughout the process is part of that.  What is interesting, though, is that so many expats come here and have children!  The common comment is that "there's something in the water."  Anyway, we've fallen into that category now too.

Of course, we are moving back home after baby is born.  That means quickly getting the necessary papers submitted for a passport.  The Canadian Consulate says it takes 15 business days to get a passport processed.  We can register the birth in Singapore at the hospital, though.... so that should be pretty straightforward.

So I have ants in my pants now.  I just want to get everything done.  We've pretty much decided to not move our furniture back home since that also costs the down payment of a small house... that means we have to somehow get rid of the furniture.  At home there are many places you can donate your furniture and household items.... that doesn't seem to be so easy here.  At least we have already gotten rid of our plants.