Breaks and Break-Throughs

About two weeks have passed since my last post.  I can't say I'm too busy to write, but lots has happened.. and lots hasn't happened.

So the choir concert was a great success.  We entertained a crowd and later pulled others, including my daughter, on stage for a Christmas carol sing-a-long.  Terry and my teen were so proud of me.  Singing really isn't my talent, as I've said before.  But it was great fun.  And afterwards we wandered up Orchard Road, glimmering with Christmas lights and decorations, ate delicious sausage dogs - Terry got a beer... you can drink beer on the streets here - and marveled at how non-Christmassy it felt even though it's so decorated and we were wearing santa hats.  People stare because you're a 'westerner' but nobody seemed to notice the fact that we were the only ones wearing santa hats.  It all made waiting for the taxi less... ummm... more bearable.

Waiting for taxis has become annoying, to say the least.  According to one taxi driver, the number of taxis has not increased, while tourism due to the new casino here in Singapore has increased quite a lot.  One evening we were 20 minutes late for a show - Riverdance!  Awesome. - because of waiting and then traffic jams.  And many people arrived with and after us!  It's just something you have to accept when living here.

My daughter has finally begun to feel settled here in her new environment.... making some friends, getting a part as a Do Wop girl in the Little Shop of Horrors school production, dancng a 'flash mob' at school (and having her teachers comment on her great dancing and talk to her again about teaching at the school... yes, I'm a proud mama), singing in the Xmas concert (with only two other people - their choir has only THREE people in it!), and getting settled into the IB program.  IB is not a walk in the park, that's for sure.  Crazy.  But she's already starting to think differently.  I'm beginning to stop doubting that I made the right decision about IB.  Phew!

Culture Fest was a hit too.  I made molasses cookies and volunteered at the school for half the day.  It was delightful to talk to other parents (and eat some international foods!).  Now, I say culture fest was a hit... but the cookies I made were NOT!  What is wrong with teenagers... they wanted Rocky Roads and fancy chocolate cookies with sugary toppings.  What's up with that?!  I brought home almost 5 dozen of my 6 dozen cookies.... Terry's colleagues were happy, though.  Next time... forget trying to be too 'cultural'... bring on the chocolate!  How could I not have known this?  Chocolate is a staple in our household.

We also had a friend from Canada in Singapore!  My good friend's husband.  It was great to share dinner and walk around looking at the sights.  Made me want more visitors.  Come on people!  I'm unemployed and have lots of spare time to show you around!!  And I am actually beginning to feel like I know something about this place.  We went to a play last week called Cinderel-lah.  A local group performed a pantemime based on the story of Cinderella but with various Singapore sayings and points made... and I got most of it!  Four months in and I am laughing at local jokes like they are my own.  Not bad, lah.

So I guess lots of fun stuff is happening... not to mention just simply being immersed in a different culture.  I think we witnessed some sort of funeral one night... a parade of sorts drove up the road with music blaring out loud speakers and one of the trucks flahsed with lights and carried something adorned with flowers and decorations... it may have been the casket.  Another evening we saw a local wedding celebration taking place in the bottom space of the HDB... apparently they have funerals there too.  We've seen several getais (Chinese performances - no idea how to spell this word) around town.  And of course, now that we're out and about shopping a little more than usual, we've seen some things in stores that are... questionable... so many wild and different things.  Chinese medicine shops are everywhere and they sell everything from frog feet to lizard gizzards.  And in Little India you can find cow urine to bless your home.  Any requests?

A recruiter I met quite a while ago contacted me to see if I was still in the job market - I said I'm looking for short-term contracts.  The small contract for which I submitted a proposal hasn't come to fruition.  Funnily, though, I think this break from hectic days is exactly what I needed to push forward... wherever it is I'm going.  I'm still working on figuring that out... it's a work in progress, and suffice it to say, it's progressing.  But I have to admit, when I wrote the proposal, it felt like a part of my brain was awakened after a long hibernation.

For now, however, I'm sitting in the sun by the pool (sweating to death and just about to jump in), surrounded by palm trees and greenery and smells from the hawkers, while my daughter studies balance sheets and profit and loss statements by my side.  Things have changed for sure.

Oh, and we're going home for Christmas in four days.  Looking forward to breathing in a lung full of fresh, cold air.... quite opposite from the hot, humid jungle air I sucked in the other day while wandering around the Bukit Batok Nature Reserve (which was refreshing in a different way).  We're also looking forward to my mom's cooking.  And believe it or not, my daughter wants Chinese food.  Yep... the authentic Chinese food here is not like Canadian Chinese food... just like western food here is not like home.  But other authentic dishes are so incredibly delicious and scrumptious... Japanese, Indian, Korean, Mediterranean.... yum, yum, yum.

I'll return after January 9th with a renewed spirit and hopefully more concrete plans for filling my days (not that my days are bad, but I do need to work towards a goal or two:).

Namaste, and thank-you to all who read.  I've received many positive and supportive comments, which help ignite me when I think I have nothing to write.  Thank-you and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Flurry in Singapore

My Canadian friends are waking to snow flurries and scraping cars.  But flurry in Singapore has nothing to do with snow.  The other day we were driving in a taxi to Chinatown and observed the flurry of activity here.  It's always like it, though... it's not just because of the season.

The Housing Development Board buildings (HDBs) have either shops and food courts on the first floor or open space for tenants and owners to hang out, sometimes providing tables and chairs and TVs.  Many of them have a fitness area with simple fitness machines.  And people frequently use them... especially in the evening/night.  In Singapore, every male has to serve two years of national service after high school and two weeks per year after that until they are of a certain age.  Employers must give them the time off work without pay.  Females don't have to do it, but some choose to.  We wondered if these fitness areas were strategically placed by the government not only to encourage a healthy lifestyle to all, but to make fitness accessible to these men who have to return every year and be healthy and fit for their country.  Regardless, accessible free fitness facilities are definitely a good thing for any country.

So we made our way to Chinatown where we began our Christmas shopping!  Lots of tourists in this area of the city.  In the middle of Chinatown there is an empty space and a stage covered with a tent.  And we had free entertainment!  About 50-75 men and women danced their hearts out.  They knew the steps and danced to over a dozen songs while we watched.  I guess it was sort of line dancing, but not quite... a mix between line dancing, jazz, and hip hop.  I loved watching the uncles out there... some were quite good too.  It was great, and my daughter and I were itching to join the group.

On our way home from Chinatown, there was a Hindu festival in our community square.  It was Deepa Oli... I think it's an extension of Deepavali, which was in October.  Performers sang and danced, and the audience cheered and squealed.  There are always tents and chairs being set up in community squares around the city to celebrate something.  With four major cultures and religions residing here, a celebration is always on!

There is always a flurry of activity in Singapore.  People are active.  They go outside a lot.  It's nice to see.  I have a flurry of activities this week too.... meetings and culture fest and volunteering and choir and a concert performance.  And... some work.  Yep, I put it out there and now I'm submitting a proposal for a small contract.

As much as I needed to relax for a few months because of burnout... I love flurries.

Pretzels & Jokers

When you put a lot of effort into something and get no results, it's frustrating.  It's demotivating.  It's crap.  You know it's baby steps that matter, but you can't help a bit of negativity from seeping in.

Last week I announced my change in direction in my job search.  Finding a job here in Singapore as an expat without mulitnational experience in the Asia Pacific region is near impossible, and others will attest to that.  I guess I was lucky to get a couple of interviews.  However, I am no longer dedicated to that daily job search, and now I have to make an effort just to fill my weekdays with something.

Every Thursday evening Terry and I go to pretzel class.  This is yoga.  Very traditional style.  My instructor's master is a traditional Indian yogi who can still sit on the floor for hours at a time at 93 years old and not have any joint pain.  Yoga lifts my spirits like almost nothing else.  It always has.  This class is no different in that respect.  But it is different. 

There are yoga classes here in Singapore that are just like home... you pay $150 or so per month for a membership in a fancy studio and get choice for yoga and pilates workouts.  And... there's yoga at the local community centres where the cost is $75 for 10 classes.  Our class is small, comprised of women of all ages, except Terry.  We practice in a small room with bright lights.  I wasn't sure I was going to like these classes when I first joined.  Our instructor tries new poses on us each week, and we try to improve the ones we already know.  Many of the positions I already know, some are new.  I've prided myself in my 20s and 30s to continue to be almost as flexible as I was at 17.  But my body just does not fold into some of these traditional positions.  They look so easy.  Why are the aunties able to do them and not Terry and me?  Regardless, at the end of class, Terry and I smile and glow and I feel like I have the most energy I've had all week.

This week, I needed that pretzel class more than most weeks.

Because my time is no longer being spent on that daily job search, I've also joined a joker group.  That's choir.  The one for non-singers.  The group is welcoming and fun and funny.  Jokers.  There are good singers in it, and we actually don't sound too bad.  The women are from all over the world including Singapore.  Our 'director' is the guitarist who plays by ear, so we have the words to the songs but no sheet music.  We applaud for ourselves after every song.  It's truly uplifting.  Our first concert is next Friday night at the Scottish bar.

The joker class couldn't have come at a better time.

And when you use laughter and meditation as your guides, you find your answers.  I've decided to volunteer and take a course.  Yes, spend money and not make it.  I've put feelers out there for contract work from my Canadian colleagues so maybe I will have a small income if that works out.  Ultimately, though, I live in a new country.  I uprooted my entire life and moved here so I could have new experiences and grow both professionally and personally.  I've been here over 3 months and it's incredibly difficult to create a social network without a job or being part of something. 

The last few weeks I've been wound up like a pretzel trying to find a job, find a job, find a job.  Now I'm just going to focus on filling my life.  Obviously, the universe has something else in store for me and I am finally willing to surrender to it.  What a relief!

I'll Be Home For Christmas...

My daughter is auditioning for her school production this week and needs to perform a solo song and a soliloquy.  She has no problem singing solo but is nervous about the acting.  So in attempts to help her, Terry decided to offer that I would sing two Christmas songs if she practiced her soliloquy in front of us!  I think he secretly just wanted a reason to get me to sing because he's never heard me.

She did a great job practicing.  I, on the other hand, do not have much of a note in my head.  I can play instruments and I can dance, but singing is not a talent of mine.  I was completely off key, but I sang nevertheless - because it was for the good of my daughter.  After my singing debut, we continued to sing Christmas carols while Terry played the guitar.  And the excitement for Christmas began.

We'll be home for Christmas.  We'll have lived in Singapore for four months and will visit home for two weeks.  It's far away and expensive and we hadn't planned on going home for Christmas.  But we are completely happy with our decision. 

The festivities of the holiday season have begun here in Singapore as well.  We strolled through a few shopping areas over the weekend and streets and storefronts and malls are decorated in fine style (the picture of the tree above is from Vivo City rooftop).  The lighting ceremony for Orchard Road (shopping area) was on Saturday night.  Concerts are planned for coming weeks.  The Nutcracker is next week - gotta get tickets.  Santa is going to be here for photos next week.  (By the way, there's a job for a Santa's helper... you dress up and take photos with kids.  I seriously considered applying for it.  I have experience as Easter Bunny's helper afterall.)  I think Christmas in Singapore is very much like Christmas in NL... except no mummering and no family.  And no parade.  And no snow... actually it's sunny and humid as always.

Speaking of singing, I've been invited to join a choir.  It's a choir for people that can't sing.  Seriously.  A bunch of expat non-singers go to a Scottish bar owned by a Singaporean every Thursday morning for choir practice.  And we're going to do Christmas carol concerts too.

Changing Course

Wednesday past was Hari Raya Haji.  It's the Muslim "Festival of Sacrifice" - a commemoration of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son for God.  We understood there would be a celebration of sorts in an area of town we hadn't visited before and made our way there to be 'cultured'.  It turned out there was no celebration.  The day was one of prayer spent with family.  Many shops were closed. 

So we made our way to East Coast Park to ride bikes instead.  The park was crowded but we had a ball riding our bikes with wind going through our hair (helmetless) and flip flops on our feet.  Sacrilege, I know! 

Changing direction was the answer for Wednesday.  And it's the answer for my job search woes.  The job search is practically halted.  I've been rejected, ignored, and given poor direction by companies, recruiters, and coaches.  I'm not throwing in the towel.  But you know the how the saying goes, you can't expect different results if you keep doing the same thing.

So I'm changing course and right now I have no idea where I'll land.  Exciting, no?  Well, once I figure out a few things, I'll make a plan - you know me!  I'll have a plan that can (and will) be changed:)

By the way, I've also changed my running practice.  When I'm home in Canada, I absolutely love running outside in nature, on trails, around lakes, up hills... Here, I've taken to the treadmill in the gym and the first class outdoor running track 10 minutes from our condo (in the evening).  I still need a 'boot in the arse' to get going.

Celebrate good times... come on!

Last Friday was Deepavali - the Hindu Festival of Lights where they celebrate goodness in their lives.  It was also a public holiday and we took advantage and took a trip to the east coast of Malaysia.

We began our trip with knapsacks on our backs in a queue (always a queue here, never a line-up) at the Singapore bus terminal.  About 300 people were in front of us.  We decided to get a taxi.  It was less than $5 to the immigration point... why were people lined up??  So we passed through immigration on the Singapore end quickly - yay!  But the queue outside to get the bus across to Malaysia was another 2 hour wait.  We waited.  And waited.  And when we got a bus we got seats!  Yippee!  We're on our way after a long, hot wait.  When we reached Malaysia immigration, the queue was another couple of hours.  Yes, seriously.  And we queued.

When we finally made it through immigration, we were in a crowded shopping mall.  People were going to Malaysia to shop for the day.  Why you would spend 4+ hours lining up to shop when there's so much shopping at your fingertips in Singapore escapes me, but it was what most of the people were doing.  Maybe there was a sale.

Anyway, off we went in search of our car!  Yes!  We rented a car!!  We found it after some traipsing around Johor Bahru (JB)... on foot... with knapsacks on our backs.  JB was busy and somewhat run down with a few new buildings standing out.  I've read that JB wants to be a shopping destination, so I believe it has invested in some fixing up.

By the time we started our road trip, it was 5pm - we had a 6 hour drive ahead of us.  It rained - a lot.  But the ride was still fun.  We had a car!  We all sensed a longing for the convenience of a car (and this morning when we could not get a taxi because it was raining and too busy, we wished we had one!).

Our non-backpacker accommodations were in Cherating.  This town is quiet and full of backpacker and surfer types.  It has many accommodations and a decent beach.  Its laissez faire atmosphere reminded me of home a little.  Service providers were helpful and friendly and nothing was timed.  If you wanted to surf... well, you waited to see if there were waves and if not, you come back later to see.  Later in the night, we went to a laid back restaurant where Bob Marley played.  It had the best pizza!  My daugther loved the environment - a future backpacker for sure.

Saturday was sunny.  We met Hafiz, who took us on a mangrove tour.  He was incredibly knowledgeable.  We saw four snakes, three lizards, bright blue crabs, two Kingfishers (birds), and a wack of jungle.  Hafiz also conducted firefly tours, which only happened at night if it didn't rain.  Lucky for us, it rained... it poured... but it stopped just before the tour time!  And Hafiz educated us on fireflies and brought us on a tour down the river.  I had never seen a firefly... let alone thousands of them!  They twinkled in the trees and flew over to our boat.  My daughter caught at least two and I caught one.  They were teensy.  It's amazing how bright they shine.  It was the festival of lights, alright.  Hafiz was a wonderful guide, too, and we chatted with he and his wife about how they are saving to someday go to Mecca.  He was also excited to share with me a few things he knows about meditating - they asked about my 'om' necklace and it started a conversation about yoga and meditation.

In between our two tours, we went driving.  There were no waves for surfing so we decided to see some of the country... and I drove... on the left side of the road... in some pretty busy traffic.  I have to admit that I was totally pumped to do this.  And stressed after an hour of it.  Thanks to Terry's exploratory nature, though, we found the most amazing beach with a wild wind and fierce ocean waves.  The beach was sandy and long and nobody was on it.  Probably because it's monsoon season and the water was dangerous.  Our beach in Cherating was safe, though, and I was successful is persuading Terry (not my daughter however) to swim in the rain.  I now have flybites all over my feet and bottoms of my legs - I'm thinking sand flies from that lovely swim.

It rained again on Sunday and we made our way back to Singapore - this time getting a taxi to cross the border and it took only 15 minutes!!!

Our three day trip entailed two days of driving, lots of rain, line-ups, no waves for surfing, and a really great time.  It really is what you make of it.

Today is my daughter's 17th birthday.  She is without friends.  She missed dance class this morning because the taxis were fully booked due to the rain.  Her hair didn't cooperate.  And we're celebrating another beautiful year this evening with presents and dinner (I'm cooking!!!!  Eeek!) and cake.  The dining room is already adorned with flowers and balloons - thanks to Terry.

Expats vs. expats

People come to Singapore for many reasons.  We came by choice.  We wanted an international experience (OK, OK, I admit it, it was more 'me' than Terry since he'd already had several international experiences and had moved back to NL to 'settle'... oops!).  Singapore had limited barriers - English speaking country, excellent education, international HUB and growing economy, allowed to 'live together' without marrying, and a large expat community. 

Although I'm happy to be immersed in a different culture - and where I live it's a totally different culture... we even have the older men playing checkers at the hawkers stands downstairs - meeting others with similar experiences definitely makes you feel more normal.  Last night I attended an expat job seeking event (in a great pub with beer and snacks - after months of very limited western foods, deep fried calamari and chicken strips are food for the soul!).  A couple of guys spoke about their job search experiences.  Simply put... it resonated. 

These guys were 'trailing spouses' - one spouse gets a contract (usually big bucks) and the other spouse follows and is coined the trailing spouse.  Most trailing spouses I've met are women.  It was refreshing to see male trailing spouses.  Anyway, they spoke of their trying times when they first arrived... months of endless job searching... interviews that went horribly... comments from interviewers like, "you must not be searching hard enough for a job if you're applying for this low level position"... the list goes on.  So one guy ended up back in school after 30 years experience.  The other guy took a much lower level job after working with an international company in management for many years.

Both guys talked about their days of sitting in front of the computer... not talking to other adults (except their spouse) for days... and then... voila!  They met each other.  They had weekly coffee to keep each other's spirits up.  And two years later they are both working and happy.

Some advice given was to lower your expectations so you can get a job and learn the culture.  Work is very process oriented here.  You get task lists each week and you're expected to complete the tasks.  My work friends are now raising their eyebrows wondering how on earth I'm going to survive!  It's true... it might be tough... yes, yes... it WILL be tough.  But I came here to learn new ways of doing things.  I might be fired!  My mind doesn't stop creating and finding ways of improvement (well, I think so... it doesn't mean something is actually going to improve:) and keeping my ideas to myself will be a challenge in itself.  Self restraint is a good lesson.

All in all, a good evening and very good to know I'm not the only one progressing slowly in the job search. 

So today I met with another kind of expat - a group of female trailing spouses, most of which have no intention of working while living here and some of which are retired.  Work was not the topic of conversation - at all.  We talked about running and swimming and biking and reading and traveling and yoga and things to do in Singapore... and teenagers.

One of the ladies moved here when her daughter was my daughter's age.  It was a year of hell - sobbing night after night missing friends and not making new ones. (Thank goodness my daughter is not nearly as bad as that!)  The second year was magnificent.  And now that the daugher has moved back to Canada for university, she wants to move back to Singapore!  Another lady said her son, who was around the same age as my daughter when they moved to Europe, took a long time to meet friends, but once he met them, they were very good friends.  Another lady gave me the number of another lady who has a daughter who is a social butterfly and a year younger than my daughter and said we should try to introduce them.  Phew!  I know, I know.... gotta read that a couple of times... the point is that we're only here 2 1/2 months and it's completely normal for a 16 year old to not have made close friends yet.  And there's huge hope for my daughter to develop her social side normally!!  Yippee!

I'm going to that morning coffee thing again in a couple of weeks.  Geez, I hope I don't have a job by then!

Four Pillows

I bought my forth pillow in less than 3 months yesterday.  No, I am not a Princess.  I have a neck problem.

If you've been following the blog, you know that the first pillow I purchased was too hard.  It was cheap.  Really cheap.  It had the same contours as the one I used at home.  But it was like a rock!  Within a week, I bought my second pillow.

The second pillow was priced middle of the road.  It was one of those memory foam ones.  I tried using it for a few weeks, waking several times each night.  It seemed the right amount of fluffy.  I dreamed of sleeping soundly on that wonderful pillow... but I was not having sweet dreams... I couldn't even sleep long enough to get to the dream state!  So I was off to purchase a third pillow.

I splurged on the third pillow.  I spent almost S$100 on it.  It was contoured with a lumpy top - the good kind of lumps.  It looked luxurious!  It had to be the right one - it was expensive!  I tried.  I really did.  For at least a month.  The pillow was too high.  Not contoured in the right places.  Terry to the rescue!  I started using his pillow, which he really loves, and he used my seemingly perfect pillow - but even he didn't find it facilitated a great night's sleep.

I was not sleeping.  My neck was in pain all the time.  I bought a forth pillow yesterday.  It's smaller.. my size.  It's contoured.  And its height is adustable!  I woke many times last night with my new pillow.... I'm hoping it's just an adjustment thing.

My four pillows are like the four pillars of our international move.

The pillow like home.  Making a home is important.  But trying to make our new home like "home" won't work.  We need to be open to new things and accepting to new ways of doing things. 

The dream (not) pillow.  Living here is fulfilling our dreams.  It's important to be realistic about the dreams.  Day to day life is still here.  Putting your dreams in perspective is important for preventing disappointment.  It's also important to re-evaluate your dreams and re-visit your purpose for the move.  And tweak along the way.

The luxurious, lumpy pillow.  Yin yang.  There cannot be complete strength, expansion, and brightness without some weak, contraction, and darkness.  And vice versa.  You may as well surrender to it.  You'll grow more if you do.

The adjustable pillow.  Adjustment.  It takes time.  But sometimes you need a little push... some self motivation... some nagging from your partner... a reminder from your daughter... support from your friends.  And all that is OK.  I'm grateful I have the opportunity to be self motivated, nagged, reminded, and supported.

A fifth pillar (who knows, I might need another pillow!)... be present.  Enjoy it now.  Take second chances when they're given.  My brother has a brain tumor.  He had treatment a year ago and today we learned the tumor is shrinking... it's dead.

Life here is good.  Life there is good.  Life is good.  Even with bad pillows.



Hazy Daze

On our way home from Malaysia last week, the skies were hazy and the air smelled of fire/smoke.  Forest burning to create farmland and plant crops is apparently a common occurance in Sumatra, Indonesia - almost 900 km away from Singapore.

This smoke has made its way to Singapore.  The skies are grey and the air is smokey.  I received a warning from my daughter's school today that they will be monitoring the air pollution index (PSI - Polluntants Standards Index) and will let us know if it rises to unhealthy measures.  The main concerns are for older folks and those with respiratory health issues.

Combine the haze with rain, thunder and lightning ('tis the season), and our weekend plans for rollerblading and wandering around nature parks on bikes and foot were scratched.  While Terry took the weekend to dive in the gorgeous waters off a tropical island, my daughter and I made our hazy days lazy days.

Although Sunday we visited the Science Centre and Omni Theatre, Saturday was couch potato day as we watched movies and TV shows and ate our missed 'western' foods we picked up at 'our' grocery store... and we ordered pizza for delivery!  It was a sloth kind of day.  And I wondered was it wasteful?

We needed to chill.  We needed to feel in our own space.  We needed to escape for bit.  We've been living in a new world for about 2 1/2 months.  That's a long time for a teen to be without her friends.  It's not easy to make friends in high school.  The typical high school student in an international school is an expat.  Sometimes they've traveled many places in the world throughout their short lives.  One girl told my daughter she wishes she had close friends but she never stayed in a place long enough to make any.

One would think it would be easy to make friends in this situation.  Kids are used to starting new.  And maybe it is for the average expat teenager.  But my daughter feels worlds apart from these kids and cannot find common ground.  Any parent knows how gut wrenching it is to see your child sad.  We want what is best for our children.  My gut is telling me this move is best for my child.  But, wow, has it ever been challenging to get to that place where I trust my gut.

Saturday was a bit of a daze for us, but maybe you need to go there in order for the haze to lift.  October break is over, my daughter is back to school, and I'm researching dance studios so she can find her passion again.

Little Fish Nipping at my Toes...

My daughter is on October Break.  Of course, we had to take advantage and go on a little trip... to Malaysia.  And yes, I had fish nipping at my toes... actually all of my feet.

After a 10 1/2 hour bus ride through the night, we arrived in the Cameron Highlands, Malaysia... where we could see our breath!  Yes, we were in heaven.  (The first thing I did when we reached the hotel, of course, was trip over my daughter's bags.  Imagine me with a backpack 1/2 the size of me falling forward in slow motion as gravity pulled me harder than I could pull myself up... until I fell flat on the floor and could not get up because my bag was too heavy and all three of us were in a fit of giggles.)  We spent the next two days and nights checking out flower farms, strawberry farms, vegetable farms, tea plantations, strawberry farms, strawberry farms, strawberry farms... did I say strawberry farms?  There was strawberry everything everywhere!  It was kind of hilarious.  But on one of our tours we had the absolute, most delicious, best chocolate covered strawberries in the world... hands down.  Heaven again.

We also roamed markets, ate the sweetest grilled corn, and handled several crazy critters like stick insects, butterflies, and snakes.  We went on a jungle trek where we had an amazing and funny guide tell us about much of the jungle life.  Ahhhh... I loved the jungle.  Did you know there are over 500 kinds of pitcher plants in Malaysia?  We had to tell the guy the pitcher plant is our province's flower of course.

The views in the highlands were phenomenal.  We got up at 5:00 a.m. one morning to see the sunrise from one of the highest peaks in the area.  As it went from complete darkness to light, one jungle animal at a time would wake and start singing.  The roosters crowed right on time.  The song of the jungle was incredible.  The air was fresh and cool.  Our guide gave us tea.  And it was too hazy to see the sun rise!  The sky got bright - but no sun to be seen.  Didn't matter.  We were in heaven again anyway.

I did spend some time reading the local paper.  And I found out that the Malaysian government is going to give a gift to females - it is thinking of increasing maternity leave from 60 days to 90 days!  AND... from what I read it seems retired teachers will be able to replace female teachers on maternity leave.  What a gift.  Seeing all sides of the world makes me more grateful than ever for the opportunities I've had in life.

After a couple of days in cool, rural Malaysia, we bussed it to Kuala Lumpur (KL) - the capital.  I guess you could say it's the New York of Malaysia.  We climbed the over 300 steps to the Batu Caves, which were absolutely amazing.  Temples were inside and a ceremony was taking place.  There were three men going through some rituals and adorning a sword with scarves and flowers.  And there were drum and horn players.  Monkeys monkied around... and got a little agressive when Terry was trying too hard to take a photo.  Words can't really describe this place.  Yep.  Heaven.

Markets were everywhere in KL.  Terry managed to get invited to join a Chinese group eating durian... and he ate it... and he stank.  (Is stank a word?)  Durian is such a smelly fruit that there are signs around forbidding it in many places.  An authentic chinese market in Chinatown boasted pig's legs, chicken feet, and every organ and piece of animal and fish you can imagine. 

Just before we made our way home, we found a fabulous market with tons of shops and a pedicure place... with little fish that nibble the dead skin off your feet!  I convinced Terry to do it... wasn't successful in convincing my daughter.  WELL!  Tickle is an understatement!  We screamed and laughed and squealed and everyone around got a grand kick out of us.  10 minutes.  10 minutes of fish nibbling our feet.  Unbelievably, we lasted.  And our feet were kinda smooth too.

Some of you know I hate feet.  So putting my feet into a big tank of little black fish to eat at them was a true statement that I'm ready to face my fears.  Over the past week I've had two interviews with recruiters, who have set up interviews with two companies, which have taken place and were terrific.  I don't know if I'll make it to the next stage, but it is a confidence boost to be out there interviewing. 

I highly recommend fish nibbling at your toes.

My Alphabet for Singapore

Ni hao (without accents, sounds like nee how and means hello in mandarin),

For those that have asked in my email or on my Facebook (there's been trouble posting comments on the blog for some reason), Mr. CR hung out in the shower all day until Terry came home, swept him into the dustpan and flushed him.  I stood on a chair and watched and learned. 

Today I decided to share a few snippets of life here in Singapore in alphabet form...

A is for Auspicious.  Many people here make choices based on how auspicious something is.  The Chinese word for four sounds like the Chinese word for death so is considered unlucky.  The Chinese word for eight sounds like the Chinese word for money?  I think.  It's considered a good word anyway, hence, lucky.  My cell phone number has three fours in it.   But I'm not Chinese so it'll be OK. 

B is for Banking.  We tried to set up a joint account the other day and I was surprised that they would not let us because I have a Long Term Visit Pass and not a Dependent Pass (you have to be married to get a dependent pass).  The young girl serving us - who spoke mainly to Terry and called me 'she' - smiled and was pleasant and said once I have my Employment Pass I can get my own account.  Couples typically do not live together without being married here.  They also live with their parents until they are married.

C is for Career Coach.  I saw one.  And he told me that I don't need a career coach.  What I need is to just go for it.  Ah crap.  Terry was right.

D is for a Day with your Daughter.  October break started yesterday and my daughter and I spent the day on Orchard Road (shopping area in the city).  We shopped and wandered and watched a movie and laughed and ate great food.  It was an awesome day.  My daughter spends most of her time in our rural community, Bukit Gombak, so getting into the city for a city girl is quite energizing.

E is for Equality.  Singapore is pretty progressive.  But every now and again, I am treated like the less significant gender.  At the end of the bank meeting the other day, I asked if we can still get a joint account when I have my Employment Pass.  Her answer was directed at Terry and she said, "Yes, she can be put on your account and you'd have a joint account."  And I said, "or he could be put on mine?"  Terry winked.  The bank girl smiled.  I'm very respectful of differences, but I couldn't help it.

F is for Flag.  You are allowed to hang the Singapore flag for one month only.  But there are sooo many people that hang the flag during that month.  I wonder if this policy increases patriotism?

G is for Government - a strong one.  The government here has grown Singapore to be incredibly self sufficient.  Although it does not have natural resources like other countries, it has been innovative to establish independence and is known as a 'model of success'.  Its laws can be pretty stringent (you will be hanged if you are caught with a gun) but it has created an incredibly safe environment. 

H is for Housing Development Boards (HDBs).  The government builds groups of buildings with apartments/flats in them and provides subsidized leasing.  It creates a community.  The HDBs often have hawker stands on the first floor with lots of shops or town centres.  Over 80% of the resident population live in HDBs.

I is for International access to events such as dance!  The dance festival last week was amazing.  We watched in awe as the artists were like liquid on stage.

J is for Jello-like squares that are in drinks here.

K is for Kopi, Kopi-C, Kopi-O, and Kopi tiam.  Singapore does not have good coffee.  But it does have Kopi.  At Thanksgiving dinner, my friend gave me a tiny bag of Tim Horton's coffee (which is not even good coffee but better than the stuff I can find here).... and I left it at her house. 

L is for Lost because I usually am.

M is for the Man behind my daughter on the escalator after the Flamenco dance show.  His comment about the event (read with a flamboyant accent): "Flamenco dancing does wonderful things to a man's body."

N is for Ng.  It's a common Chinese surname and for some reason I like it. 

O is for Over the top.  The styles.  The services.  The homes (some).  The events.  They can be so incredibly extravagent and ornate and expensive and sometimes... dare I say it... tacky.

P is for photography.  It's a common activity around here - people are often wandering in groups with their fancy cameras and tripods.

Q is for.... ?

R is for Refridgerator.  We put almost everything in it to prevent spoilage or bug visitors.

S is for sandwich... actually ice cream sandwich.  The aunties and uncles (older Singaporeans) sell them from kiosks.  But they are not like what we are used to in Canada... they take a block of really hard ice cream (flavors include mango, peppermint chocolate, sweet corn, red bean, and others) and surround it with either two crackers or a slice of pink and green bread... all for a dollar!

T is for Taxi drivers.  Most of them have the same story about Singapore - that the cost of living is too high and you have to work too much.  But they wouldn't live anywhere else.

U is for Uniformity.  Singapore has worked hard and has been successful in creating a unified, harmonious nation with four key different nationalities, cultures, races, and religions as its citizens.  Everyone is tolerant and respectful of the other.  It is only in Little India that I really got the typical stares Indian men give to western women.  And that is mainly because we went on a Sunday - their day off work - and for the most part the men there at that time were here to work on short-term, temporary assignments.  Indian men that are citizens of Singapore do not act the same way.

V is for Venus.  The Roman goddess of love.  Because this is Tina's alphabet:)

W is for Water.  Singapore's water supply comes from Malaysia.  Water here is recycled and taps in almost all public places are on automatic shut off.  Living here is a practice in efficiency.  I like it.  However, we all fool up.  Yesterday, my daughter and I were in one of the nicest bathrooms we've ever been in (if you recall from an earlier post, there are two extremes of bathrooms), and the soap was also automatic.  I was washing away and chatting with my daugther while looking at her and she was giggling... my hands were under the soap dispenser and the soap was pouring out into the sink!

X is for xylophone.  It has nothing to do with Singapore.

Y is for Yoga.  On our first night of yoga last week we went to three centres before we found the right one.  It is in one of the many community centres nestled away in an HDB area.  The class had only 10 minutes left when we arrived!  No worries, we did not disrupt the group.

Z is for Zoo (of course!).  We went and it was magnificent.

There's a Hippo in the Bathtub

When my daughter was a little girl, she loved the Anne Murray Song Animal Crackers... you know the one that has the lyrics 'you better come quick, 'cause there's a hippo in the bathtub.'

Well, that's how I woke this morning.  "Mom.... there's a bug in my shower... it's a cockroach."  Agghhhh!  Terry had already gone to work, my daughter refuses to kill anything living, so I was left to my own devices.....

I was warned of bugs before we moved to Singapore.  They are here.  It's part of life.  It's warm here and they are different than home and they are plentiful.  There are no cockroaches in Newfoundland as far as I know.  I did have one in my apartment in Nova Scotia one time.  I smashed it so hard with a shoe that I left a dent in the wall and then I stood in the middle of my living room crying. 

I am not going to be such a coward this time.

Last week, we saw a little spider in the apartment.  I got rid of it no problem.  On Friday past, my daughter opened her desk drawer to find a bug crawling in it.  Terry got rid of it, but I honestly think I would have been able to do it.. it wasn't that big and it wasn't a cockroach.

After my daughter's announcement this morning, I tried to act cool on the outside but my inside was full of jumping beans!  I swear I could not face this great fear.  What is wrong with me?  I'm about a thousand times bigger than the bug.  I poked the big critter only to see it whiz to the other side of the shower.  Those things move fast.  I kept closing the shower door in hopes it would disappear and I wouldn't have to deal with this.  That is what we do with our fears that we don't want to face, right?  My daughter proceeded to get ready for school... calmly!  How can a 16 year old be so calm in this situation???  This is an emergency.  So I get a shoe and get up the nerve to move closer to the big black creepy crawly and as I lower the shoe (much too slow obviously) it speeds across the shower again!  Eeeeee!  Shut the door!!!!  SHUT THE DOOR!!!  I gave in and texted Terry to find out how I can get rid of this thing.  According to my daughter, they are the most indestructable bug in the world.  Great! 

Terry's advice was to put on my shoes (this is in case it crawls over your feet), sweep it into a dustpan, then dump it into the toilet.  But what if it crawls out of the dustpan and onto the floor and out into the apartment?!?!  I analyzed and assessed and evaluated.  Then I shut the bathroom door and left it there.  So Mr. CR is now my temporary roomie.  I walk past that bathroom trying to ignore there's anything in there.  Thankfully (it is Thanksgiving afterall, and I have to say, I'm so full of gratitude that if I wrote a blog entry about it, you'd probably get sick of my gushiness... but I am incredibly thankful of the health, happiness and wonderful people and opportunities in my life), we have two bathrooms!

I'm calm again and I hear.... "Mom.... there's a bug in my shoe!"  Oh man!  Seriously?  This cannot possibly be happening.  So the teen gets another pair of shoes and I'm left to deal with the bug.  It's much smaller than the big one in the shower, but it will not come out of the shoe.  I shook it and poked it and it stuck there.  I tried to squish it and it's hard as a rock.  Uh-oh..... I put the shoe outside (our condo hallways are open to the air.. we  live in Singapore afterall) and leave it alone.  Maybe the critter (pretty sure it's a baby cockroach) will crawl away.

That's how my morning started.  And I sent my daughter off to school without lunch.

If you're following the blog, you know I'm searching for work.  However, much like the cockroach, I have poked at it and closed the door.  Working in a new country when you've only worked in one before is a bit intimidating.  Terry assures me it's the same as anywhere else with a few differences in culture and language.  But just like I did with Mr. CR, I have assessed all the things that could go wrong if I get a job. 

Time to open the door again and give it another try... to the job hunt... not the cockroach.

Shopping or Selling?


Shopping is a favorite pastime in Singapore.  Malls are everywhere.  Nearly every MRT stop is attached to one or more shopping areas.  I tend to purchase mostly necessities, but I've had some entertaining moments investigating the Singapore shopping experience.

Sales personnel at stores take their jobs seriously.  They know their products and are keen to make a sale.  In stores that sell furniture or home appliances, sales people are responsible for certain brands and products and can't cross the line to sell someone else's brand.  And they follow you.  Closely.  They are at your service.  As soon as you eye something, they explain if it's on sale or the unique features of the product.  If they perceive you are not interested, they will point you towards another product they feel you will like.  Shopping exercises your ability to politely say no.  It also presents opportunities for entertainment when you say yes.  One time we had a demonstration of the most comfortable - and expensive - beds in the world from a sales rep trying to sell us a bed.  All three of us had a scientific assessment to determine our best type of bed, and we were able to lie on the bed for 5-10 minutes in the store.  Sweet!  If I planned on staying in Singapore for 10+ years, I would have seriously considered buying the bed.  Excellent interactive selling.  And truly a fantabulous bed!

The day I was surrounded by professionals in the financial district I realized almost every single woman had a skirt on... usually above the knee, black, and fitted.  It's a really lovely style, and I think I can pull it off.  On one of our shopping mall explorations, my daughter and I ventured into a store that seemed to have a few nice skirts.  After some persuasion from my much more fashion conscious 16 year old, I picked out three to try on.  Of course, the sales girl followed me closely and I probably would have had only one had she not selected two others.  Each time I came out of the dressing room to get my teen's thoughts on how it looked, the sales rep had another skirt for me to try!  I didn't want to seem ungrateful so I agreed to try.  I had about 12 skirts in the room at the end of the session - and I tried every one!  My daughter told me later that the girls were all giggling at me... she thought they were laughing because I was trying on every skirt they suggested.  Meanwhile, I was only trying them on because they were bringing them to me!  So much for exercising saying no politely.  I did find a skirt, however... and the girl that served me at the cash was highly complimentary of my eyes.  Overall, it was a successful excursion and we obviously entertained some people, which is never a bad thing.

On another shopping excursion on Arab Street (our favorite place in Singapore I think), my daughter and I were wandering the shops waiting for Terry to show for supper and ventured into a store that sold wall hangings from India.  The sales man was from the middle east somewhere and had the most gorgeous green eyes.  He was the perfect sales man.  He was charming.  And my daughter and I were lapping up his attention like a teen dragged on stage at a rock concert.  He told us the story of the wall hanging... how it was made from dresses of the queens from 100s of years ago.  When the queens no longer wore their dresses, they gave them to peasants.  Peasants wore them until they had holes in them.  Many years ago, sewers of these hangings visited rural India to collect these dresses and hand sewed the hangings with the dress collars.  Pretty good story, hey?  Not sure if it's true, but we dreamily listened and looked into his eyes.  He really thought we were going to purchase the hanging... it was beautiful to be honest, and if the story is true, it would be a pretty cool piece of history to have in our home.  And it would match my red couch and funky humpty perfectly.  But we said we'd return.  It was over my price range for now, and I was practicing saying no politely.  Regardless, he must have known we were swooning!

Thankfully, nobody follows you and tries to hard sell in a bookstore.  I have a hard enough time telling myself no when surrounded by books!  Yesterday I bought two books (one fiction and one non-fiction) and a self teaching mandarin book and CD.  Sales techniques for organizations selling mandarin courses are little less effective at targeting... or maybe there just isn't as big a demand as there is for consumer goods.

zai jian (no accents here but sounds like chai chian and means goodbye)

Gullivers! Right Away!

Terry has an incredible knack for striking up interesting conversations with taxi drivers.  I noticed this about him on our first trip together to Montreal.  He takes on new accents, finds out intriguing information, gets directions and necessary information, and receives presents. 

We made a trip to IKEA last night - we still have quite a few things to get for our home.  With a basket full of household items, we called a taxi rather than take the train/bus or wait in the taxi queue for an hour (there's an extra fee for calling a taxi but it's well worth it in these situations).  Our driver was friendly and kind-hearted and seemed like a gentle soul.  Although taxi drivers here are often talkative and helpful, 'gentle soul' is not how I would typically describe them.  Terry immediately struck a conversation with him about the music he was playing... it was meditation music with chimes and gentle chanting.  Naturally, I loved it. 

I didn't hear the whole conversation - my daughter was describing what she learned in yoga earlier that day.  She learned some breathing techniques and sun salutations, and I was absolutely thrilled she thoroughly enjoyed it.  She now knows that she can use the Nadi Sodhana, or alternate nostril breathing, to calm her before a math test!  I definitely had a proud mama moment. 

I heard snippets of the front seat conversation... Buddhist temple.... CD.... meditation... relax.... clear your mind througout the day... difficulty clearing the thoughts... vegetarian... I was torn between the two conversations. 

At the end of our ride, my daughter and I commented to each other that it was the most relaxing taxi ride we'd ever had.  After helping to unload the trunk, the taxi driver gave something to Terry.  It was a CD of the music he was playing!  Namaste, Mr. Taxi Driver!!

I have a new phrase to replace the St. John's 'Gullivers... right away!'  It's 'Gulliford... talk away!'

Duality

When I told people I was moving to Singapore, the general comments were that it's clean, it's conservative, and there isn't much to do.  These comments were from people that did not live here.  Others that either knew people living here or connected me with those living here had other things to say, like, you'll love it there, there's so much to do, and it's a hub for travel. 

Most expats I've met or heard about are either single, married without kids, or married with young children.  And this is the place to be if you are child-less or have young children!  The night life is terrific, the entertainment scene is colorful and always happening, and the whole country is dedicated to children - malls have children's play areas, there are family washrooms everywhere, condos have several areas for children, kids shopping is probably as good as it gets in the world, there are learning centres for children everywhere, and kids activities are plentiful.  Parents are also very dedicated to their childrens' growth and development.  There is a swimming centre for infants here.  You can peer in through a window to see the tiny babies about 2 or 3 months old floating and kicking in 2 feet of water in a big sink-like pool.  It unnerved me to see it to be honest, but maybe one of those babies will be an Olympian swimmer some day.

We haven't quite figured out what teens do here other than hang out in coffee shops, smoke sheesha, go to school, hang out at restaurants, hang out in malls, hang out.... I'm sure there are other things, we just haven't found them yet.  Teens are given a lot of social freedom because it's incredibly safe here. 

True to everyone's word, Singapore is also very clean for a big city.  There is garbage around, though, which amazes my daughter and me because everyone raved about Singapore's cleanliness.  It's hard to find a garbage can, but you can usually find one next to an escalator in a mall.  And I have yet to see a recycling bin in public.  Bathrooms in touristy places can be pristine to fairly clean.  Bathrooms in more local places can be fairly clean to downright dirty.  You won't find toilet tissue in most bathrooms.  There's lots of squatting here too... and as you sit in some stalls with a toilet (you can go to the squat stall if you like of course), you read the sign that says, 'Do not put feet on toilet seats.'  Terry jokes that he's going to be so local soon that I'll find foot marks on our toilet seat at home.  A pub we visited last weekend had a bathroom for men, which was disgustingly smelly and dirty, and a bathroom for women, which was through a private door into a hotel and was clean and 'fit for tourists'.... and no footprints on the seats!

Like other areas of the world, Singapore's birth rate is declining.  So the government has organized dating events.  Only singles are allowed to attend them, and the purpose of them is for men and women to meet, fall in love, get married, and have children.  Yep, I'm serious.  And it's working!  I read an article yesterday in the paper about one couple's success.  Their advice for successful dating was to be open minded, be friends first, and dress well.  I was also advised to dress well for interviews and you can attend workshops on how to dress well.  It's important here.

There are plenty of reasons for the decline in birth rates.... one of which is the desire for the 5 C's.  Singaporean men tell us that women won't marry you unless you have Career, Cash, Credit Card, Car, and Condo.  A 2-3 bedroom condo is around S$800,000 and a cars are around 3x more expensive here than in Canada.  It's not easy on those men!  Of course, there are some very highly paid positions here and I read in the paper that the percentage of high net worth individuals rose by 32.7% last year.  I was also advised that most positions in Singapore are generally paid lower than an equivalent position in Canada or the U.S. so expect to be paid less.

It is true - Singapore is relatively clean and structured - yes, somewhat like the utopia in Brave New World (a must read).  However, it is far from boring.  There are extremes to almost every situation, and the duality of Singapore makes it interesting to study.

Two Steps Forward

We have been in Singapore for 6 weeks, short a day.  And reality is definitely setting in.  Progress around here is finding a place you've been looking for, beginning to understand Singlish, and noticing smiles amongst a rushing crowd (and do not stop amongst a rushing crowd!)

If you've seen my status on Facebook, you know that I finally found a supermarket that sells familiar food!  It's expensive though.  S$11 (approx. $8.50 Cdn) for a tiny container of red pepper dip, S$8 for the same amount of hummus, and S$11 for a box of Triscuits!  A large box of Corn Flakes, however, is only S$3.55!!  Local food is much more affordable, and we are adjusting our tastes.  Lime juice is one of my preferences now... of course, there are two types of lime juice: Singapore lime juice, which to me is more like lemon juice and my daughter's new favorite drink; and Indian lime juice, which to me is much better.  I'm even starting to crave Tom Yum soup, Gado Gado, and Mee Siam.

Terry and I have signed up for a yoga class and I've found a ton of activities to take in over the year.  I found a Mandarin class, but it doesn't meet our schedule, so I'm still looking for that.  I found the post office.  I found pots.  I found a running shirt.  I found a salad that tastes good!!!  I found a book store that sells brown paper and bubble wrap to wrap parcels.  I managed to get an x-ray and a blood test for my pass even though I was sent to four different clinics.  Clinics are everywhere, though, so all four were one MRT stop from each other.

Progress, lah (that's a Singlish word).

Understanding Singlish is not as easy as being lost and trying to find your way around town centres.  One evening last week, my daughter and I went to our favorite hawker stand, and the guy who is always working there says, 'sheelee'.... ummmm... pardon?  'sheelee'.... *smile* pardon? '*smile... chuckle.... guy next to him chuckles... shows us the sheelee....'  Ohhh... chilli!!  Yes!!  We love this guy and we all had a grand laugh.

Today I was sitting in a clinic staring off into space and I hear a name being called.  I'm listening intently but I do not hear my last name.  It's called again.  Nope, not me.  I look over only to see the lady staring at me and saying "Miss Tina?"  Right.... they call you Miss or Mr. *first name* here.  But... then I get a smile when she realizes I understand now.  Ahhhhh...

Smiles.  Yesterday I was pushed and shoved and squeezed by people.  Rudeness exists here too.  But today I got smiles from everyone at the clinics (how could I get frustrated when they kept sending me elsewhere?), and the lady at McDonald's who serves me coffee a few times a week now smiles when she sees me coming.  I wonder if she is laughing at me for my order (coffee black and a small fresh milk).  It doesn't matter.  I'm getting a smile.  The instructor of my workshop last week was full of positive energy and smiles.  Typically, people that work in the service industry are friendly, and it really does make the difficulties of the day fade away.

I'm still searching for a job, and everything I hear and read tells me it's tough to secure one without being a permanent resident or citizen.  Maybe not so different from home??  It won't stop me of course.  Maybe I'll get an interview and my smile will work? 

The saying is two steps forward, one step back... and that's exactly how I feel.  But the steps back are where the real growth is.  Step back to take a breath.  Step back to be present.  Step back to realize the lesson.  With every challenge there is success, and does it ever feel better if it was difficult than if it was easy.  I questioned our relocation this week when my daughter was experiencing homesickness.  But a good night's rest gave us both a better perspective.  This is the best thing we could have done for ourselves.  Our steps back are providing us the challenges we need to be pushed two steps forward.

Must get me some mee siam.

Lucky Face

I have discovered that seeing a place twice makes me remember it.  The first time I'm too caught up in the logistics.  One day this week I trotted off to the Esplanade for the second time, where I hoped I'd see more Moonfest activities.  Moonfest was apparently over, but I did meet an Indian Yogi.

Moonfest is a Chinese Autumn Festival where they make and eat mooncakes and celebrate the moon.  I haven't tried a mooncake yet but they are supposed to have a full egg in the middle of them and are quite expensive to purchase... around S$35 for 4 mini cakes the size of muffins.  Last weekend, although a movie and take-out sounded delightful after my shocking week, my daughter and I met Terry at the Esplanade for some Thai food.  It was the lantern festival with lots of chinese lanterns, music, and shows - fantastique!  We mosied to the upstairs theatre after a divinity moment (the best chocolate ice cream ever) and caught a show of traditional female chinese dancers and traditional male...umm... martial arts/dancers.  These guys were in wicked shape and could jump higher than their own height.  They slapped and pounded the floors, landed aerials, and performed in unison to make an impact.  It was awesome and my spirits were lifted! 

Thinking I'd get a repeat, I hopped on the MRT this week and made my way to the Raffles Place stop.... 40 minutes and one transfer later I was in the financial district at lunchtime!  Woah!  To say it was mesmerizing is an understatement.  It was mobbed, I had no idea what direction to walk in, I was hungry, and it was hot.  Finally, after about 30 minutes of circling, I found a Starbucks.... coffee and muffin please.... and a seat in the shade with my currently favorite magazine, Human Resources (which I can only find at Starbucks), and a map!  Ahhhh.... I came out the wrong exit of the MRT.  I managed to find my way to the Esplanade after that only to find that there were no more Moonfest activities.  But it was a beautiful day as I wandered around taking in the gorgeous views, sipping on a mango juice.  There were lots of tourists around (they also had maps) - I guess partly because Formula One is here this weekend.  I almost bought a cup of corn... they sell loose corn here for a snack.  It looks just like our corn.  :)

On my return to the MRT, I guess I looked calm and happy, thinking about how much I love my flip flops because I can walk and walk and my feet don't hurt.  Who knew flip flops could be more comfortable than sneakers?  Anyway, an Indian guy stopped me and said, "Excuse me ma'am, your face looks very lucky."  I beg your pardon?  "Your face is lucky.  You are healthy and happy, can I see your forhead?"  Umm... sure!  "You have three lines." - great, thanks! - "One is happiness and yours says you are very happy.  One is health, and you are going to live a long life, die in your sleep peacefully between the ages of 87 and 95."  Woohooo!  "The  middle line is wealth.  You think too much about your wealth."  Oh dear.  After all those books I've read, you'd think I wouldn't do that.  Then again, I am unemployed.

I wasn't quite sure what to think, but I went along with it all.  He asked to sit down so we did - I was in no hurry.  He asked questions, did a little magic trick, tried to tell me my fortune, and I was enjoying the time.  Then he told me he was a yogi from India who travels from country to country to talk about meditation and yoga.  Oh, too cool!  I have manifested this spectacular meeting!  I'm brilliant!!  He asked if I was poor, medium, or rich.  Well, obviously I'm not poor nor rich, so of course I'm medium.  He had written P - 50, M - 100, R - 150 on his paper.  He told me since I am medium, I should pay him S$100 and he will tell me three ways I can improve my wealth.  Bahhahahahahah!  I asked him if he was offering this as a service?  He said no, he is a yogi from India who travels from country to country and does not get paid for what he does.  I said, well, is this a service you are offering for me to pay for?  Nope.  So I said, I'll pay you S$4 because I enjoyed my time but that's it.  He was not very happy, but I was, and I walked away.  He told me I will have an unhappy heart because I would not give him more money.

I give buskers money.  I give beggars money sometimes.  I donate money and time.  I pay for services.  But I was not told he worked on a fee for service basis or that he was asking for charity.  I do feel lucky (and my heart is shining with happiness).  And maybe my face showed it.  Or maybe this guy thought, there's a white tourist and she must have money.  Maybe not.  The point is, it happens. 

Discrimination happens frequently here.  The country does not tolerate racial slurs or disrespect of other cultures or religions.  But you might not get hired if you are an expat wife who doesn't need the money... or if you are planning on having children... or if you don't look the part... or you're too old.  There are no employment discrimination laws here.  There is an organization that promotes hiring a person for their skills, but it's not enforced in any way. 

I may have a lucky face, but I'm not counting on luck to find a job.  I joined the American Association of Singapore and have started attending workshops (also an excellent reason to explore another part of the city).

It's Electrifying!

It's recommended that you bring a few familiar items with you when you move to a new place, especially a new country.  We brought some photos, movies, and a few odds and ends, but not much.  My daughter found the movie Grease while on one of our outings a while back and absolutely had to have it.  Surely, it was because she had it at home and it was familiar because she hadn't watched it in quite a while!

So now we have the movie Grease to add to our few items that remind us of home.  And I have discovered culture shock.  I think you have some level of culture shock no matter where you move.  I experienced it when I moved to a small community of 200 people in NL with a one month old.  Then again, the culture difference between that place and my home town was about the same as between home and here.

Last week was one of those weeks when everything you do turns to crap or you're faced with yet another dead end.  Now that Terry is settled into work, my daughter is settled into school, and the apartment is feeling more like home, it's time for me to figure out what my life is going to be here.  Yahoo!  I have space and time and I can do and be whatever I want!!  Uh-oh.

I started applying for jobs.  No feedback on those yet.  I was turned down for about a hundred jobs in the Middle East, Australia, and New Zealand before I decided where to relocate, so I'm getting used to rejection.  I have a few options... I could work in HR, learning and development, project management, team management, business improvement, export/trade, research, etc.  Many job openings I've found that are suitable for me require an ability to speak Mandarin; however, some simply state that it would be an asset to have that ability... so I apply for those.  Interestingly, you don't always get a response when you submit an application here.  It's also widely accepted, and I think THE way to get a job, to call the HR Director to discuss the opening.  They must be bombarded with calls, don't you think?  I've been reading up on employment laws and practices here... and from what I've read, it seems HR is behind other areas of the world such as Canada.  This could be an advantage for me if a company is more progressive in their HR practices... and those companies do exist.  It's also common practice, apparently, to hire people you know around here.  So it's off to more researching conferences and workshops I go.... only to find that the one conference that is affordable is the same time as my daughter's October break and we are thinking of taking a trip.  Another one was exclusively for CEOs, VPs and Directors.  Exclusive is a common word in Singapore.

After a few days of frustration with job and career activities, I decided to turn my focus to social and lifestyle activities.  I have been searching for a dance studio for my daughter since before we left Canada.  Her training is in a style called Cecchetti Ballet, which we can not find around here.  She stumbled upon a website one day that said they offered Cecchetti Ballet classes, so I called.... nope, the website was entirely incorrect - not only do they not offer that style of dance, but they don't offer any ballet exams in any style.  I started another hour or two long search on the internet for the right studio.... and I ended the search after finding nothing that seemed 'right'.  On the bright side, my daugher takes a dance class in school and is going to ask her instructor for advice.... and the dan:s festival is here in Singapore next month and we are going to see some of the most amazing dancers in the world!  Yay!

So onto Tina's life again.... I went in search of Mandarin classes.  My introduction to Bahasa Indonesian has really inspired me to learn another language, and since Mandarin is the number one language of the world, and it would be beneficial in the world of business, that's what I've chosen.  We have a book that is like our bible - it's called 'Singapore - The Complete Residents' Guide'.  It lists about a half dozen websites for places that offer Mandarin courses.  I checked them all and they either don't offer the classes or only offer them to exclusive groups.  I emailed one place that looked promising, but they responded with a negative.  I decided face-to-face might be the way to figure this one out... so I visited our neighborhood community club.  When I asked the man at the front desk if they offered a Mandarin course, he chuckled and said, 'No, we offer English.'  This living in the boonies is starting to get to me!  My uncle came to my rescue after seeing my desperation on facebook (my status) and contacted a friend he knows here... I now have the name of someone to call.  Maybe this week will see the fruits of my efforts.

I decided to take stock.  Job - nope.  Conference - nope.  Dance studio - nope.  Mandarin course - nope.  Let's try yoga.... There are yoga classes many places.  After we found a dance studio that we thought offered the right classes, I realized there was a yoga studio next door.... and it offered yoga for the eyes!  I kid you not!  I really must try this... I wonder does it improve your eyesight?  I'm totally excited about it.  Anyway... that is not the kind of yoga I'm seeking right now.  I'm looking for a daytime class in my neighborhood.  Most of the studios I've found are about an hour away (and incredibly expensive)... and to me it's just not ideal to have to travel an hour to my yoga class, and then have to return in that messy crowd after rejuvenation.  However, on my little laughable trip to the Community Club, I did strike on a schedule of yoga classes, a few of which are offered one morning a week.  SUCCESS!  Of course, you have to have a pass in order to register... so I just have to have a little more patience.... I will have my long-term-visit pass really, really soon.

I also checked out tai chi.... it's offered more widely than yoga it seems... but that class is taught in Mandarin, and I figured I had enough frustrations right now to have to try to follow a Mandarin instructor.  To add to all this, I have yet to find where to buy a postage stamp and send a package in the mail (I think I've checked 10 places to date)!

Amongst all the dead ends I started to feel like I was floundering, I was wasting precious time, I was desperately fighting irritability, and I had a cold (yes, one of those things with a stuffy nose, sore throat, floaty head, and exhaustion... I never get sick?!).  Being me, I had to figure out what was going on with me... so I went to one of my favorite ex-pat websites and it popped out clear as mud... I was experiencing culture shock (the cosmic energy is also all out of whack so that explains some of it too).

The first stage of culture shock is called the Honeymoon stage and it lasted for 3-4 weeks for me - it varies for everyone.  It's a period when everything is wonderful and new and exciting.... just like it was with your partner.  (Of course, I'm still in the honeymoon stage with my partner! haha!)  Next is the Negotiation phase where you start to notice the differences between your old culture and this new one.  Sometimes people glorify their homeland, and usually you get a bit negative, irritable, and tired during this time.  Eventually, you reach the Adjustment phase, where you'll either accept or reject the culture.

I have been oscillating between all three phases... not too severly, but they are certainly coming up.  THANK-YOU to whomever named culture shock!  I am not insane!!  I am clearly a very normal, well adjusted, stable woman who, if didn't go through this completely normal phenomenon, would not be normal, and then where would I be?!?!

Once I realized my normalcy, I did a bit of chakra balancing - gotta love Deepak... and Grease.

Pass!

These days the term 'pass' conjures up thoughts of our living status in Singapore.  Without some sort of 'pass', you really can't do much of anything - rent videos, rent apartments, buy cell phones, join clubs, open a bank account, book tickets, etc.

Last week, my daughter received her student pass!  Because I do not have an employment pass yet, and Terry is not her legal guardian (he has an employment pass), she cannot get a dependent's pass.  The student pass allows her to live in Singapore until August 2012... and to get a student's package on her new iPhone, which includes unlimited texting - she's pretty pumped about the new phone:)

On Saturday past, I got the formal email stating I've been approved for a long-term-visit pass.  I just have to pay and figure out what 'medical' means and provide all that before Oct. 2nd.  So, although we'd already planned an adult night out, we had a celebration Saturday night.  We visited Terry's friends and then went to Clarke Quay.  Clarke Quay is like a high end George Street - no, Bourbon Street -because it's bigger and cleaner and has these enormous air conditioning structures hovering over the entire outside area.  It offers a greater variety of entertainment than either.  We went to a couple of bars, did the conga and salsa at a cuban bar, sited bellydancers while passing another restaurant (it was teeming with spectators - mostly men - so we couldn't really see much), and danced to 'western' music at yet another bar.  It was a great night, albeit late (we met up with another of Terry's friends at around 2 a.m. and got home around 5 a.m.!).  Singapore's bars are open until around 4 a.m... the area was still full of people when we left... although at the final joint we visited, they were only serving beer and only outside.

Needless to say, Sunday was very laid back.  And today it's back to work and school... and while I'm trying to figure out life in Singapore in almost all aspects, my daughter is focused on life at school.

To date, I've seen some excellent education at my daughter's international school.  She takes a course called Theory of Knowledge - basically a philosophical discussion course - and her teacher has decided to bring the theme of 'love' into this year's classes.  Seriously.  Love.  Isn't that the best?  She will also do an excursion trip to either Cambodia or India this year and do some community work while abroad.  The school boasts about 80 extracurricular activities, and she's joined choir, dance/musical theatre, and art for a cause (in which she'll be creating a photography 'show' and fundraising for a selected cause).  While being faced with social challenges (she's met lots of school friends but hasn't hung out with them after school hours yet) and academic obstacles (although she already completed grade 11 math in grade 10 last year, there are gaps in what the two schools taught so there's some extra learning sometimes), the overall school experience is excellent.

This Friday, her school is holding a fundraiser to raise money for a school in Ladakh, India, where the flooding in Pakistan and India has had a significant impact.  Students and staff in her school have family members who have been affected.  It is this worldly awareness and mindfulness that I see as one of the most important learnings for my daughter.  It seems only a select few get this type of experience at home, while all students not only have an opportunity to receive it here, but it is part of the programming.  The system and school are not perfect, of course... her school is constructing a new building for next year so their current location is temporary, and there have been some frustrating logistical issues.  But this school gets a pass from us.

The school also offers opportunities for parent involvement... although less in high school than other years - not unlike home.  I thought I might volunteer for something since I'd like to be involved... and I really need to meet some adults!  I have done a few things... gone to the orientation and curriculum night.  I arrived at curriculum night early (I'm never early) and waited for Terry.  They had started when Terry arrived and I leaned over and said, 'you haven't missed anything, they are still talking about middle school.'  About 20 minutes later, they ended and that was it.  Nothing on high school.  I thought I got the date wrong!  I asked a teacher, who told me the high school session was in a different room!  We found the other room, which was empty, and then wandered the halls until we found the high school classrooms.  Phew!  All the teachers were there and we managed to speak to them all.... this is a typical Tina moment of course - to go to the wrong room - but I've never missed a parent night at the school and felt a wee bit stressed:)

Testing and evaluating has begun for my daughter, and her studying has to be taken into consideration when we are planning weekend activities or excursions.  It's one of the balancing things an adventurous expat parent needs to learn how to manage.  And I'm only in the beginning stages of learning it.  Moving to a new country is like school - you pass and you fail.  When you pass, you continue to improve.  When you fail, you get up and try again and figure out the lesson. 

Crossing the Border

It was a great coincidence (or not) that we had a long weekend for Hari Raya (end of Ramadan) just before my and my daughter's 30 day social visit passes were due.  (My daughter received her student pass the other day, though - yahoo!)  We decided to go to an island called Bintan in Indonesia, and we did not stay in the luxury resort where most visitors typically stay.

We arrived at the ferry terminal in Bintan in the dark and, after getting an Indonesia stamp (yay!), we went in search for our taxi.  Drivers were lined up for the Club Med, Cabana, and other resorts of that nature... but nobody from our little beach resort.  We easily found the taxi stand and booked our return ride as well (turns out we could have gotten a better deal had we not done that).  Then off we went for a ride in the dark.

One would think an hour taxi ride in the dark on an island would not bring the same advantages of a daytime ride.  Not so!  It was the last day of Ramadan and celebrations were all over the place!  We first saw a procession of vehicles - trucks with groups sat in the back and many motorbikes with 1-3 people aboard - drive slowly with lights flashing... I thought it was a funeral.  But then we heard shouts and singing and music and horns beeping... the taxi driver said it was a 'victory', and indeed it should be.  We saw two or three of these parade-like celebrations.  Many of the roads were also lined with poles about five feet high and a fire burning on top.  It was a spectacle and we felt honored to have seen it.. and feel the celebratory mood to kick off our weekend.

When we arrived at our resort, we were the only visitors there.  Mr. Beach Boy - self-named and the manager of the resort  (who is from Singapore and spends two weeks at a time at this resort because he loves beach life) - took care of us.  Mr. Beach Boy, who later became known as 'boy', was always trying to save us money.  He was highly disappointed that we'd already booked our return taxi ride because he found us a deal, and he told us how we could save money on transportation the next time we visit.  He also asked how much we paid for our meals at other resorts because he was concerned (we think genuinely) about us getting ripped off.  He was the entrepreneurial type, renting everything from bikes to snorkling gear to a deck of cards.

The first sight of our room was a bit of a shock for us all - yes, even Terry (my partner for those that don't know... I've decided to give him a name:).  We had the best beach house on the resort!  Waves gently splashed under the small wooden structure built on stilts, and we had our own private veranda that looked out over the ocean.  We also had two single beds for the three of us, a bathroom that provided a non-flush toilet and cold shower sprinkler and friendly cockroaches as co-inhabitants in the night.  I actually didn't see the cockroaches until our final night there.  I definitely practiced mind over matter that night.  We did have a mosquito net over the beds, but it was useless since it had numerous holes in it!

Our eating area was also camp-like with gecko-looking creatures crawling all over the walls.  Occasionally, one fell off.  My daughter and I were prepared for a glorified camping trip and that's what we got.  However, Terry was a bit disappointed with our accommodations and worried we wouldn't be able to handle it... he was mistaken:)

Straight out from our beach house into the ocean, about 20-30 lights shone in the night.  On our night of arrival, I thought we had a view of a little island... Terry thought they were boats; however, they were structures that floated in the water with a net beneath it that lowered and caught fish.  People owned them and made a living fishing from them.

Throughout the weekend we were immersed in Indonesian culture.  We grew a bit of a friendship with the owners, who cooked our authentic Indonesian dishes, served us Indonesian coffee and snacks, taught us some of the Bahasa Indonesian language (my best word was 'terima kasi' - 'thank-you'), and told us local stories.  It turns out business in Indonesia is not so different from Canada - some customers do not pay, some customers make a mess or cause a fuss, and groups need to lobby government for change sometimes.  The tourist resorts have joined forces and are curently fighting against the high VISA charge to enter Bintan - it's $25 US or S$40 per person and a deterrent for short visits to the island.

One day we rented bikes and rode through the village.  Kids and youth smiled at us and yelled, "Hello Mister!"  Almost everyone waved as we passed - we waved back feeling like celebrities.  Young people giggled - I'm not sure if they were laughing at us being so 'white' or at themselves for practicing their English... or maybe my bangs (still looking pretty awful).  But it was truly a magnificent experience.  Houses are small and colorful there. Doors are left open and we could see families gathered together sitting on the floor.  It's hot and humid, and many families are poor, so many homes seem run down and dirty.  Even the larger, well maintained homes are difficult to keep clean because of the humidity.

We also snorkled a few times, swam in the South China Ocean, witnessed a crazy storm, walked along the beach siting crab holes, ate at a few restaurants (I found my hot ginger again!), saw turtles, and lazed around reading.  My daughter was doing her homework on the beach one day and got swarmed by a group of children.  Three girls her age asked her lots of questions and each of the seven or eight kids got a photo taken with her.  She was pleased as punch.  Apparently, sometimes students are encouraged by their teacher to talk to an English person if they see one.

We had a fellow visitor one night - Bulek.  He lived/worked in Singapore but was from India.  He shared some stories about his culture while Terry asked lots of questions and my daughter and I mostly listened intently... and laughed because he shared some funny stories.  Bulek is getting married soon.  He told us about the importance of astrology in picking your mate and your wedding date.  People skilled at astrology will analyze 30+ traits you have as a result of your time and place of birth.  You must have a minimum number in common with your mate in order for the marriage to be accepted by family and religion.  He did mention that there are some 'experts' who, for the low price of $500, will find the minimum number of common traits required:)  Bulek was also told by an expert astrologer when he was a young boy to stay away from water.  He came snorkling with us the next day.

The Indonesian people we met were a fair bit conservative (by our standards) about some things.  Girls wore their t-shirts and shorts while swimming, while boys could wear trunks.  I was giving Terry a hug at one point and three teen girls were staring at us like we'd just removed our clothes!  We stopped hugging of course.  It's interesting to see how people from other parts of the world view us Westerners.  We were an anomaly where we stayed, and people seemed to be quite intrigued with us.  A French couple arrived one day and left within a couple of hours requesting their money back.  Westerners do not stay in this place very often.  That all said, people were incredibly friendly and smiled a lot.  There was a language barrier, but it didn't impact the friendly gestures.  One family gave Terry cookies - as he says, it was instant karma because he returned to the beach house to get my sunglasses for me:) 

Life is pretty laid back in Bintan, even though people work hard - typically six days a week.  And although there were language barriers, it always seemed to be fun to find ways to communicate... by the way, it's mineral water and not bottled water.  We tried our best to attempt the language, and they were persistant in helping us learn it... or at the least to understand each other.

On our final day, a large group of locals invaded the beach and took over our private veranda.  Our hosts gave us free coconuts, and later coffee and watermelon, to compensate.  We really didn't mind, but they insisted.  My daughter and I could not drink the coconut milk... I did try it but it's the first thing I honestly can't take.  Terry didn't like it either, but drank and ate some of it nevertheless. 

The locals are very close with their families and it was warming to see families having so much fun swimming, cooking and hanging out together.  Parents do not hover over young children.  At three and four years old, they swim with the older kids, splashing around as if on land without risk of drowning.  Very young children ride on motorbikes either in front of the driver or in between the driver and passenger (no helmets and usually shorts and tank tops or t-shirts with no protective gear whatsoever).  Our host's youngest son was four - Adey.  He is a handful... one of our first introductions to him was with a huge knife in his hand as he wandered from the kitchen.  All three of us tried to ease it away until Mom helped.  Adey climbed up on a motorbike by himself, threw a lighter to the ground making it explode, and hauled off his drawers when he felt like being free!  He got scolded for that one.  He provided some entertainment, that's for sure.

We drove back to the ferry terminal in daylight.  The taxi driver thought we were Australian, but that's all he said in English.  The jungle was thick and at times reminded me of the forest at home with palm trees added in.  Some trees were bare from leaves falling... reminding me of my favorite season at home... Fall.  Mangy dogs ran along the sides of the road.  Colorful houses with people sitting around them clustered in small villages.  The low tides boasted about a kilometer of wet, muddy sand.  And driving was cracked!  Cars pass motorbikes and nearly scrape the motorbike drivers' elbows.  On a two lane, narrow road, there can be three or four lines of traffic with passing or impatience.  It was common to be driving facing another vehicle driving towards us.  Somehow we arrived at the ferry terminal in one piece and enjoyed a relaxing hour on the ocean again.

When we arrived back in Singapore, it did feel like we'd returned home from vacation.  Singapore is mostly a metropolis - pretty opposite to Bintan.  And when we arrived at our apartment, we had a little visitor in our kitchen - a gecko-like creature was hanging out on the wall to welcome us home.