Pretzels & Jokers

When you put a lot of effort into something and get no results, it's frustrating.  It's demotivating.  It's crap.  You know it's baby steps that matter, but you can't help a bit of negativity from seeping in.

Last week I announced my change in direction in my job search.  Finding a job here in Singapore as an expat without mulitnational experience in the Asia Pacific region is near impossible, and others will attest to that.  I guess I was lucky to get a couple of interviews.  However, I am no longer dedicated to that daily job search, and now I have to make an effort just to fill my weekdays with something.

Every Thursday evening Terry and I go to pretzel class.  This is yoga.  Very traditional style.  My instructor's master is a traditional Indian yogi who can still sit on the floor for hours at a time at 93 years old and not have any joint pain.  Yoga lifts my spirits like almost nothing else.  It always has.  This class is no different in that respect.  But it is different. 

There are yoga classes here in Singapore that are just like home... you pay $150 or so per month for a membership in a fancy studio and get choice for yoga and pilates workouts.  And... there's yoga at the local community centres where the cost is $75 for 10 classes.  Our class is small, comprised of women of all ages, except Terry.  We practice in a small room with bright lights.  I wasn't sure I was going to like these classes when I first joined.  Our instructor tries new poses on us each week, and we try to improve the ones we already know.  Many of the positions I already know, some are new.  I've prided myself in my 20s and 30s to continue to be almost as flexible as I was at 17.  But my body just does not fold into some of these traditional positions.  They look so easy.  Why are the aunties able to do them and not Terry and me?  Regardless, at the end of class, Terry and I smile and glow and I feel like I have the most energy I've had all week.

This week, I needed that pretzel class more than most weeks.

Because my time is no longer being spent on that daily job search, I've also joined a joker group.  That's choir.  The one for non-singers.  The group is welcoming and fun and funny.  Jokers.  There are good singers in it, and we actually don't sound too bad.  The women are from all over the world including Singapore.  Our 'director' is the guitarist who plays by ear, so we have the words to the songs but no sheet music.  We applaud for ourselves after every song.  It's truly uplifting.  Our first concert is next Friday night at the Scottish bar.

The joker class couldn't have come at a better time.

And when you use laughter and meditation as your guides, you find your answers.  I've decided to volunteer and take a course.  Yes, spend money and not make it.  I've put feelers out there for contract work from my Canadian colleagues so maybe I will have a small income if that works out.  Ultimately, though, I live in a new country.  I uprooted my entire life and moved here so I could have new experiences and grow both professionally and personally.  I've been here over 3 months and it's incredibly difficult to create a social network without a job or being part of something. 

The last few weeks I've been wound up like a pretzel trying to find a job, find a job, find a job.  Now I'm just going to focus on filling my life.  Obviously, the universe has something else in store for me and I am finally willing to surrender to it.  What a relief!