The Wonders of the World

Last week, I sat by our beautiful pool in Singapore watching my daughter gracefully glide through the water.  I always saw her amazing strength and grace on stage when she danced, and she has all that in the pool too.

One of the reasons we moved to Singapore when we did was to give my teen this worldly experience, to enrich her life and help her grow.  The experience of a teen, however, is hugely different than that of a parent/adult.  The most important thing for my daughter is fitting in and making friends.  Experiencing the culture, seeing everything this part of the world has to offer, trying new foods, traveling to new places... all important but secondary to the significance of social assimilation with other teens her age.

As a parent, I'm trying to make this experience as rich as possible while also understanding a teen's needs.  It's easier for me since I'm here with my partner (although I definitely need my own friends!).  So what is it that she needs from me anyway?  Every day is new, every situation presents something to learn, every action that was mindless in the past is now filled with brain activity.  As much as 'acting like Westerners' when in a foreign land makes some cringe (and me too at times), I think this is what I can give to my daughter to help her feel at ease and gradually increase her level of comfort. 

Most of our days to date have been completely different, but they are beginning to be somewhat like before... get up, go to school, make sure she has money for lunch, sign up for extra curricular activities, meet the teachers, do homework, and now that we have groceries... cook supper (well, we don't have pots and pans yet:).  The fact that there are uniforms, new friends, different class schedules, different food in the cafeteria, and different transportation systems provides the enriching part.  The other day she came home from school telling me all about the geography she learned from her friends and she knew a few Korean words.  Yesterday, she tried to get away with wearing jeans instead of her uniform to school.  So it's the same but different.

My wonderful teenager continuously teaches me... whether it's how to listen better or remind me to take in the present moment.  She does this by physically making me do this with her (one night she practically forced me to swim)... but she also does this at times when she's not taking advantage of what is in front of her and I cringe at what she's missing.

We all learn in our own ways on our own time schedules... and who am I to say what she's learning?

My teen has been thrown into the water and needs to learn how to swim on her own.  I'm holding her up now, but she needs to swim with strength and grace when I'm not there.  I am watching with wonder as she grows and I wonder if I'm the one afraid to let her swim on her own.