Ants In My Plants

I know I am very late writing about our recent travels in Bali, Hong Kong, and India.  But lately, I have something else on my mind....

When we first arrived in our condo, we spent weeks furnishing it to be homey.  Terry bought lots of plants and my daughter had her own couple of colorful cacti - Petunia and Clementine.  Singapore is full of greenery... the government has planted trees and plants everywhere - on highways, on top of buildings, in parks.  So when I look out my living room window, which is floor to ceiling, it's a wonderful green view.  However, having plants inside is relaxing and makes me feel closer to nature.

Last week, my daughter lifted her little Petunia and ants came sprawling out like a tsunami!  Petunia and Clementine were both full of them!  And we had to throw them out.  Terry's plants also underwent some strains when we were traveling, including having bugs, and although he tried several survival techniques, we now are plantless.  Since we are moving home in a few months, we'll just remain plantless until we get home.

I also am beginning to have ants in my pants.  I'm 32 weeks pregnant and am ready to get on with it all.  That said, we're enjoying our last bit of time here... and have decided that having a baby in Singapore is an international experience in itself.

The medical system here is quite different than home.  First of all, there is no waiting - big bonus.  But you pay for that - it's private health care.  The total cost of having a baby and all the pre- and post-medical treatment required will cost the down payment of a small house.  Canada really should give patients invoices showing the amount our government has paid for our medical, don't you think?  It would certainly give us an idea of where our taxes are going... and maybe how we can improve efficiencies too.  I'm sure we all know our health care system can be 'leaned up'... but I digress.

You go to the doc every 2-3 weeks here when you're expecting.  And you get an ultrasound at every visit.  It's really quite wonderful to have more accurate information about that living creature growing inside you.  When it's time to get your blood work, it's accessible (clinics located all over the place - the one I went to was right outside my condo!) and fast (virtually no line-up/queue).  The hospitals are like hotels.  The private rooms are simply lovely.... with lavish bed clothes, LCD TVs, CD players, soft lighting, aromatherapy, couches/chairs and, in some rooms, a table and chairs for eating meals.  Your partner can room in with you, and if you get the more expensive room, so can your other children.  Alternative therapies and delivery methods are widely used and accepted.  One delivery room in the hospital we're going to is specially outfitted with hydrotherapy equipment.

I've probably mentioned how the government is trying to get more couples to have children.  The birth rate isn't what they want it to be so there are programs and incentives for having babies.  Maybe having comfort and ease throughout the process is part of that.  What is interesting, though, is that so many expats come here and have children!  The common comment is that "there's something in the water."  Anyway, we've fallen into that category now too.

Of course, we are moving back home after baby is born.  That means quickly getting the necessary papers submitted for a passport.  The Canadian Consulate says it takes 15 business days to get a passport processed.  We can register the birth in Singapore at the hospital, though.... so that should be pretty straightforward.

So I have ants in my pants now.  I just want to get everything done.  We've pretty much decided to not move our furniture back home since that also costs the down payment of a small house... that means we have to somehow get rid of the furniture.  At home there are many places you can donate your furniture and household items.... that doesn't seem to be so easy here.  At least we have already gotten rid of our plants.

Left... Left... Left, Right, Left

Talk about messing up your neuro-networks!

In Canada, it seems we tend to automatically move to the right when walking.  We drive on the right hand side of the road.  Escalators are usually on the right side.  And when passing people while walking, everyone automatically moves to the right so it's an easy, mindless activity that runs smoothly. There are collisions, but in my world, it's usually because I'm not paying attention.  It doesn't work like that here for me.

As you know, you drive on the left here.  Escalators are usually on the left, although not always.  I'm trying to figure out ever since I moved here whether people automatically walk to the left or if there is actually no norm at all for walking.  And I'm paying attention!

I've been testing this out for months.  I started to purposely walk to the left once I realized I was encountering head on collisions with people when I walked to the right.  This seems to work... for the majority of the time... which is 50+% of the time... but not necessarily 60% or 90% of the time.  So that leaves my neurons shaking almost half the time!  Being less agile these days with a big growing belly, it's not as easy to jolt over to the right after purposely walking to the left but the person aiming for me is not moving.  So I've been having a lot of these left, no right, no left... just stand here and let them pass.... moments.

I am actually wondering if there is indeed a norm, but it's so multicultural here that the norms are different in different parts of the world, so we have a mixture of people automatically moving to the right and people automatically moving to the left.

This is a big enough wonder for me these days that I'm dedicating a blog entry to it.  I even did a little research and found that there is actually research done on oculomotor activity while walking!  Apparently, you can know which side the on-comer is going to walk on by where he or she is directing his or her gaze.  If your on-comer is looking to the right, your brain will tell you to move to the left, and vice versa.  Hmmm.... maybe my oculomotor activity ability has decreased during this time of pregnancy.  Orrr... maybe in this culture, people don't gaze so directly, and I just can't figure out if they are looking to the right or left.

Regardless, my daughter and I seem to be the only ones that have noticed this phenomenon.  Maybe it's just me, actually, and I'm influencing my daughter.  I am certain though, that my flip flops are wearing out.  I've slipped on the left flip, nearly flopped, and cut my right toe in the exact same place - twice.

Terry and I are off to Hong Kong tomorrow, while my daughter is galavanting around the Himalayas in India. I wonder if they walk on the left or the right in Hong Kong?

Do We Have a Mop?

You know you're starting to live the ex-pat life when you say to your partner as the air conditioning leaks on the floor, "Do we have a mop?"  And his response is laughter (and his advice was to use this as my next blog title).

So I admit that we have a maid (and, yes, I forgot we had a mop!).  Of course, many of my friends from home also have house cleaners, so it's not unusual.  But having a 'maid' or a 'nanny' or both is completely commonplace here in Singapore.  Many expats travel with their nanny in tow.

I have other strange (for me) new behaviours too.  I have wiped ants away from a piece of cake and ate the cake anyway.  Well... it was chocolate cake!  Ants have become my friends... the little tiny ones.  You just shoo them away and carry on (we have ant traps too).  And every now and again I naturally say 'lah' at the end of a sentence.  It's similar to the Canadian 'eh'.  I also think my feet have expanded due to wearing flip flops 99% of the time... maybe being 6+ months pregnant has something to do with that too.

One of phrases I've started to become accustomed to is, "Have you had your lunch?"  The first time I heard it was on my way into the bathroom at work.  Auntie (the cleaner) was sitting on the stairs and she said, "Have you had your lunch?"  I was confused... didn't know why she was asking... and I responded with, "Ummm... no, not yet." *confused smile*  I've heard this a few times since.  One of our security staff asked me a couple of days ago as I left our condo facility, "Have you had your lunch already, lah?"  And I smiled confidently and said, "Yes, see you later."  This question is used as we use, "Hello, how are you?"

Now, this does not mean I understand Singlish.  I still struggle with it quite a bit actually.  But I'm learning to use as few words as possible... take out prepositions and such... only use the absolutely necessary words to get your point across.  I was out for dinner with friends last weekend and we had this same discussion (they, of course, were drinking margaritas and I was drinking water)... however, they are much more advanced than me in their Singlish skills - they've lived here for around three years.

Being an expat also means you have to have a pass to be here, of course.  I had a Long Term Visit Pass and then an Employment Pass.  Now that my Employment Pass has expired (due to the end of my contract), I have a 30-day Short Term Visit Pass.  This means I either have to acquire a Long Term Visit Pass or leave the country every 14 days via road or 30 days via plane.  In trying to get my Long Term Visit Pass, it turns out I'm not really eligible for one... not sure how I got one last time!  Anyway, I'm working on it - I don't really want to have to leave Singapore a day or two after my baby is born.  I need a mop to clean this little mess up, lah.

Before that, though, we have my daughter's drama production and trip to India.  Trip to India.  Yep, another great advantage of living here.  We also saw Justin Bieber last night - he not only sings, you know... he can play the drums, play the guitar, woo the teenage girls, and dance.  I wonder does he have a mop?  Anyway, it was another great show we had the opportunity to see in Singapore.

And the Winner is....

In my last post, I talked about skipping on the train and Singaporeans' desires to be 'first'.  Well, it turns out there is an official term on this attitude - kiasu.  It's Hokkien Chinese for 'afraid to lose'.

It's not unusual to observe greed around here.  One day in the queue at my favorite salad restaurant, a lady skipped me in line.  This has become somewhat normal, albeit frustrating at times.  Then her friend joined her!  And, they not only had their own two orders, but they had their colleagues orders as well.  They saw me.... I was right there in the queue.  I guess they were demonstrating kiasu, while I practiced understanding and letting go.

Nobody holds the door open around here either.  In fact, they'll squeeze through before you and let the door slam in your face.  When us Canadians hold the door open, the locals are either expressively grateful or simply confused.

I've read a few articles in papers and have heard taxi drivers give their input about this behaviour.  They say parents drive and push their children to win, to be first, to be the best.  In their minds, anything less means failure and hardship in life.  Young adults strive to be accepted into the best schools with scholarships so they can get the 'best' jobs.  Young children are pushed to reach excellence in everything they do.  There is no room for anything less.  It can be incredibly competitive and stressful.  The overall belief is that if you don't 'win', you're going to have a miserable life.

It's understandable that adults want more and more prestige and higher levels of status around here.  In this culture, it means they've succeeded.  I don't feel the happiness in the air, though.

These attitudes seem to have caused some issues in society.  This lack of graciousness is widespread and the government is trying to change it.  The Singaporean government promotes gracious behaviour via videos that you can find online.  I've started to notice signage reminding people to clear their tables (it's completely common and normal to leave your garbage on your table).  I think government is realizing that winning is not about the material things you have.  Health, community, and mindfulness are becoming more important.  And government wants to build that kind of nation.

That said, it might have been government's past behaviours that have led to this type of thinking in the first place.  Regardless, understanding kiasu has lessened my frustrations when faced with it.

In our culture, we like to win too.  Some people also regard prestige and material items as signatures of success.  However, many people value health, family, relationships, and true happiness as success and signatures of winning.  It doesn't mean you can't have a fancy car sitting in your driveway if that's what you like.  But human connections, growth, and a vibrant life are what gives a person meaning and enhances their contributions to society.  The fancy car is just a fancy car to enjoy, not a measurement of success (of course, that's not what everyone in our culture believes).

This week, my dear friend is a winner.  She had bypass surgery at only 36 years old, and is alive only because of chance timing.  She's a wonderfully positive and beautiful person and has definitely won both with her attitude and her second chance at life.  Again, I'm far away from home and can't see her, but my thoughts are with her and her family.

Tales from the (almost) Tripped

After several days of celebrating my grandmother's life, my aunts, uncles and cousins are returning to their provinces, countries, and continents to get back to 'normal' life.  I hear it was quite the weekend - tears, memories, music, beautiful ceremonies, laughter... and new memories.  Fifteen of the 20 grandchildren made it home for the wake and funeral.  I was one of the five that didn't make it home and definitely felt the distance.  But I am grateful for Facebook.  I received fairly regular updates and could be there vicariously through photos and short chats.  Technological advancement can be very good.

In fact, advancement in many forms can be very good.  I think I advanced my personal empowerment last week when I gave my notice and left my job.

After six weeks of feeling completely out of alignment, I confronted my boss and suggested his organization needed something different than what I can give at this time - he needed long-term change management (and if you saw my growing belly, you'd know I don't have long-term availability).  He invited me to return after baby is born, but I'm going back to Canada.  I learned.  I met some great people.  I experienced a completely multi-cultural environment.  I got some insight into a whole new industry.  And I really think I made a slight impact.  It wasn't all bad at all.  But each day, I started with a renewed spirit and returned home deflated and de-energized.  It would have been a great challenge to stay long-term and lead change, but it really wasn't the right place for me.  Once I made the decision to move on, I felt empowered.  I really stuck to my values.  On my last day, I said my good-byes to everyone and I think it was the most energized I felt in six weeks.  It was the right decision.

My days began with trying to fit into clothes.  I LOVE this new invention called a Belly Belt!  There were no Belly Belts 18 years ago.  All was well until I hit the train station each day.  After talking to people who lived in Shanghai and London, I learned Singapore got nothin' on them for the train madness.  However, at peak hours, it goes like this.... squeeze, skip, push, shove, skip, rush, skip... then, after missing 2-3 trains, stand like a squished sardine for 45 minutes.  It's much worse than Tokyo.  People are generally pleasant and polite in Japan.  Oh, but I discovered another route.... it took 1 hour and 15 minutes, but I most often got a seat.  (Would you believe that most women here wear stilettos to work?  I had blisters wearing flats or pumps!  They are decked out like a fashion show too - complete with jewelry, make-up, etc.)

A highlight of my workday (if I got a seat) was reading on the train.  I had over an hour in each direction with dedicated reading time!  Woohoo!  I most often read the local newspaper in the morning, but I read my business and  psychology books in the evening.  I kinda needed the inspiration.  I tried... I really tried... to read some finance magazines to learn more about the industry I was working in.  I couldn't keep my eyes open.

I worked in the financial district of Singapore.  I quite liked the environment.  I found a couple of fabulous restaurants in the area and had some nice chats with people I worked with when we went out to lunch a few times.  Eighty percent of the time I had these amazing salads for lunch.... a lot of expats seemed to go to this salad place... it had everything you can imagine for salad.  Fantastic!  And crowded!  In true Singapore style, though, there were three queues (one for ordering, one for paying, and one for receiving), and once you got the hang of it, it was quite organized.  There were benches outside overlooking the river - a magnificent environment for eating lunch.... but there were never any free benches to sit on.

During my six week stint, the building I worked in got a bit of an overhaul.  They put a coffee/snack bar in the main lobby along with an indoor jungle and security stations that locked you out AND IN if you didn't have your security card.  I'm not really sure why they needed the reconstruction and enhanced security, but that's Singapore.  Buildings are constantly being torn down and new ones built.  When my building 'unveiled' the indoor jungle, they had a bit of a fancy 'do'.... must have been a bit of a big deal.  I think it was the first indoor jungle... they like being first around here.

My workstation changed places four times.  (That was far from the issues I faced.)  My last location had a great view of the famous Marina Bay Sands... yep, the hotel everyone emailed photos of to me before I moved here... it has the infinity pool on top and was featured in The Amazing Race.  Anyway, it was a great view... much better than my first workstation where I had three chairs, a stool, three umbrellas, and the storage area all in my little corner space with no viewing of the rest of the office (or outside).  People regularly came to my desk to use the binding machine or went to the storage area for supplies.  (I did have little chats with people when they 'visited' though:)  One lady, a temp, would sometimes sit on one of the chairs and do nothing but stare straight ahead while she waited for her 'boss' to tell her what to do.... yes, a chair in my space - and she didn't talk.  I found it all a bit strange.

So I didn't trip on the train - although if I was wearing stilettos maybe I would have.  And I didn't trip in my personal or professional development.  In fact, I think I've risen a wee bit.  Now, I'm searching for a volunteer gig... if a paid one comes along where I'm in alignment, great!  But I can't just work for a pay cheque.  For me, right now, that would be tripping.

Far Away From Home

I have not written in over a month.  I have lots to share.  And I will.  But today, I'm honoring my grandmother.  She peacefully passed yesterday... well, this morning NL time.

We've heard so much about the world's turmoils, and being in this part of the world makes you think and feel a bit differently about it all.  The tsunami/earthquake in Japan struck a chord when we saw television footage of places we'd been to just a month earlier.  We were planning a trip to Thailand when we learned of flooding there.  We were considering an opportunity to move to Cairo this time last year and are thankful now that we did not move to Egypt to be amidst the protests and civil unrest in that part of the world.  We've sent our thoughts, we've donated, and we've felt our deepest empathies for people suffering.

But nothing strikes closer to the heart than the passing of a loved one...  the head of the family.  When you can't be near your grandmother to say good-bye and be part of the collective family healing, you feel far, far away from home.  And that's one of the drawbacks of living so far away.

My grandmother was a woman of great strength and independence.  She was loved incredibily by a big (and growing) family.  She lived in her own apartment at almost 88 years old.  She loved to shop - and return things.  She loved playing cards and the people she regularly played with.  She made connections with beautiful people.  She spoke her mind.  She was involved with her community and church.  Her smile lit up a room.  She remembered everyone's birthdays.  Although she underwent several medical issues over the years, she lived life.  She was planning her outing to the drugstore for Seniors' Day for yesterday - the day she left this physical world.  She'd spent over 50 days in the hospital recently but was shopping and playing cards just weeks after her arrival home.  She learned new things in her 80s... like learning to test her own blood sugars at 87 years old.

Yes, Nan was a great woman and lived a beautiful life.  A beautiful family mourns her loss, and I wish I could be there with them right now.

Namaste Nan

Have a Seat

All over the world, expecting mothers are given priority seating, parking, and other perks for carrying around an extra 30lbs or so in order to help sustain the human population.  Well, yesterday I got my first priority seating when a lady got up from her seat in the train and told me to have a seat.  Yippee!  I wasn't going to take it, but hey, I already have a good 10-15lbs on and have started losing my balance on the train... not to mention feet swelling in this heat.

So this baby bump is becoming more and more noticeable.  One way to meet other expats when you're in a new country is to join associations, groups, or coffee clubs.  And yesterday my bump was noticed by a lady in one of those coffee groups.  Oh thank gawd, I don't just look like I've gotten fatter anymore.

A friend of mine (who is from Newfoundland, living in Singapore, knows a mutual friend who tried to connect us, but we met in a bar before we met through him!) is part of a coffee club for expat women and asked me to join them.  I went yesterday morning and, I have to say, had a grand time!  The ladies are all from England (except us Canadians) with one having moved to Australia 30 years ago.  Their husbands work here in Singapore, while they are along for a great ride and await their husbands' retirement.  They all smoke.  One is getting cosmetic surgery this week.  They love to shop.  Most are divorced and onto their second marriages (well, who isn't?!).  They've traveled all over the place and can provide recommendations to almost anywhere.  And they're all hilarious.  We may be in totally different places in life, but funny is funny at any age.

My days and weeks are finally filling with activity and more friendships.  If you're reading this blog, you know I gave up on finding work here.  I've been focused more on personal development and social and cultural activities.  I now have the energy to run more than first trimester and go 2-3 times a week.  We've been traveling.. our next trip is this weekend to Bali, Indonesia!  We've taken in a ton of cultural festivities with Chinese New Year being as festive as Christmas is at home.  I'm meeting more friends.  I'm starting to feel more natural getting around, i.e., I don't get lost as much.  I started to knit (well, have taken it up again - I used to knit years ago).  I read by the pool.  I'm cooking more.  My daughter and I joined guitar lessons at the local Community Centre.  I am one step away from registering for a couple of courses.  Life is full and getting more and more exciting.

Well, have a seat.  Because guess what?  I have a job.  I applied for a couple after I returned from Christmas holidays.... and I got one of them!  So I'm getting my international work experience afterall. 

Surprisingly, it's a really good time to begin to work in this new environment.  My burnout is gone.  I'm pretty comfortable getting around in the city.  And my 45 minute train ride won't be standing up because of my newly noticed baby bump.  Thank-you very much, I'll take that seat.

Arigato Gozaimas

Arrigato gozaimas.  Thank-you very much (Japanese).  And that goes to the universe and to all the people in my life that have helped me to get here.  Japan was fabulous.

After a seven hour flight, we started our adventure on a one hour train and then a shorter subway and 5 minute walk with luggage to our hotel in the outskirts of Tokyo.  Taxis are a small fortune, and it's common to walk around with your luggage anyway.  I nearly knocked over a few bikes along the way, but other than that the trip went smoothly.

Our days in Tokyo were big city.  We saw the lights, the action, the crowds, the kids dressed up as anime characters, a couple of people giving out free hugs, vending machines everywhere, temples, the red light district, narrow streets with pubs... and we ate at fabulous restaurants and, yes, rested at Starbucks.  Service was excellent.  People were friendly.  And nobody stared in the subways - refreshing!

Shibuya Crossing is apparently the busiest intersection in the world - and it sure looked like it. Harajuku is where you watch trendy people and can buy pretty much anything.  Shinjuku is commercial and colorful and full of crowds hustling and bustling... and great Japanese signage.  Pachinko and slot establishments were everywhere (even in the small towns).  Fashion was... from trendy to nutty to questionable. 

The Tsukji fish market is something everyone should see while in Tokyo.  Guys drive around in these carts pulling fish boxes, and they are fast.  We had face masks (definitely blend into Japan while wearing a face mask) in case the smell was too much - but we didn't need them.  There was seafood of every kind imaginable in this huge market.  With rolled up pant legs we roamed through and when we were finished, Terry was smiling ear to ear and my teen had a look on her face like a boiled boot. 

We rented a car for the remainder of the trip and visited a small village in the mountains called Tsumago where we stayed in a traditional Japanese minshuku (ryokan).  The roads leading to this place were windy and the views were mountainous - it was incredible.   Once we arrived, we had robes, slept on the floor on thin mattresses, wore slippers in the rooms, and ate traditional Japanese meals.  Many places in Japan have public baths - this ryokan had a private one... Terry, of course, got a bath.  My daughter and I opted not to since it was absolutely freezing everywhere except in the rooms.  The view was spectacular.  The owners were wonderful.  And the town was quaint and preserved its heritage wonderfully.  We explored the snowy town the next day and drank it all in.

After some tradition, we made our way to Kyoto.  We spent a full day temple viewing.  We spotted Geisha - we think some were authentic (you can dress up as a Geisha and wander around so we think we saw some tourists dress up as well).  Kyoto is pretty.  It's a much smaller city than Tokyo with a population of 1.5 million as opposed to 12.5 million.  Temples and castles fill the city, and most have beautiful gardens.  Seeing it in Spring with the cherry blossoms must be amazing.

We ate in a Japanese diner in Kyoto... that was fun.  We also visited a castle... it was OK.  I liked the squeaky floors it had... this was built into the castle on purpose so the royalty would know if someone was sneaking in.  The floors were called Nightingale floors.  Big Buddhas high in the hills were common.  We met a monk in one temple we visited and he sang the Canadian anthem for us, stating he thought it was much nicer than Japan's.  So of course, we asked him to sing Japan's, which he did, and it was not so bad.  He knew were Newfoundland was and told us how popular Anne of Green Gables is amongst the Japanese.  He was a lovely soul. 

My daughter was Queen for a day and her choice of activity was Universal Studios in Osaka - another city close to Kyoto.  So, off we went.  Being 4 months pregnant at the time, I couldn't go on any of the rides except the carousel!  Some of you know how much I love rides... but I lived vicariously through my daughter and Terry as they went from ride to ride and came off each one with big smiles.  I people watched and, frankly, seeing the after ride smiles was good enough for me.

Our final stop was another small, traditional town called Shimoda, which was near the ocean.  We stayed in a hotel but the room was a traditional Japanese style with mattresses on the floor.  Everyone in the hotel roamed around in the same robes.  At first I thought they were from a group.  But, no, the robes were in the rooms and they put them on and hung out in the hotel.  There were public baths (separate male and female) in this place.  Again, Terry took that in.  Maybe if I wasn't pregnant I would cross that threshold, but there was no way my 17 year old daughter was going to.  Surprisingly, we found an amazing R&B pub to eat at - Japanese pub food, which was quite good.  It was a fantastic way to spend a couple of hours after driving half of the day. 

On our final day we captured the best views of Mount Fuji.. an awesome spectacle.  That was my driving day.  Terry did the majority of the driving, but I drove that day from Shimoda to Narita Airport in Tokyo.  A little nutty for sure... but having a GPS makes all the difference!



Oh - toilet seats are mostly heated in Japan (and they also play music, have bidets, and play fake flushing sounds if you like).  And... what is with having a ferris wheel in every city?  We drove past several cities and each one had a ferris wheel peeking out.  (Singapore has one too.)

Our week long trip was a bit of a blur.  We experienced lots and loved it all.  Arigato Gozaimas.

Some-bunny is coming!

Next week is Chinese New Year and this new year is the year of the rabbit... or bunny as my daughter prefers to call it.  The city is getting all decked out with red fabrics, lights, and decorations preparing for the big celebrations.  Community squares are setting up stages surrounded with reds and golds for Chinese entertainment and parades.  Schools and businesses are closed for 1/2 a week.  People are bustling around shopping.  And it's a time for travel.

We are going to Japan for a week!  China was discussed but we figured China was crazy busy at the best of times, let alone Chinese New Year.  So Japan it is.  And we are pumped!

This will be one of our last trips of this nature for a while because not only is it the year of the bunny, but there's also a bun in the oven.  Yep, and that bun will be born in the year of the bunny... in fact, according to the Chinese Zodiac, 2011 is the year of the Golden Rabbit.  The rabbit is a lucky sign apparently.  People born in the year of the rabbit are said to be introverted, friendly, enjoy being with groups of good friends, are good teachers and communicators, and they need their own space.  These people are keen, wise, tranquil, considerate, intelligent, and kind.  They are gentle, yet strong-willed.

The year of the rabbit is supposed to be a year for focusing on home, family, security, diplomacy, and your relationships with women and children.  It's a good year to create a safe, peaceful lifestyle.

Hmmmm.... it seems to be the perfect time to add a little bunny to our family.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Bit of Canada... bit of Singapore... bit of globalization

The Canadian Association of Singapore organized the Terry Fox Run here in Singapore this past weekend.  We registered, donated to cancer research in Singapore, and had a lovely run in East Coast Park along with the other runners.  About 1500 people ran... much less than the 10,000 or more that ran in the marathon here last December... but it was so nice to be out with runners.  And the cookies afterwards were to die for!  Seriously. 

We all have friends and family who struggle with cancer.  It's all over the world.  I'm happy to say that one of the three people in my life with cancer at the moment has finished her treatments and has beat it!  (I might add that her positive attitude and sense of humor is incredible, which I believe not only doesn't hurt, but helps.)  The Singapore Terry Fox Run raised S$40,000.  Not bad for a small group of 1500 I'd say.  Medical treatments have advanced in amazing ways thanks to events like this and commited, passionate people.  Progress can be a wonderful thing.

Not everyone would agree with that statement about progress.

We rented a car last weekend - which made our transportation to and from the run much more convenient!!  We also drove off the beaten path into areas of Singapore we can't typically get to via bus or train.  It was easy to get a little spoiled having the convenience of a car.

In the northern areas of Singapore, you'll find farms... fish farms, goat farms, chicken farms, and lots of vegetable farms.  One day we ate at a most delicious restaurant on an organic veggie farm.  It was called Bollywood and the environment was laid back, friendly, inspiring, and natural.  Ivy, the owner, came to our table and introduced herself... and an intriguing conversation pursued.

Ivy told us she's half Indian and half Chinese, and her father worked hard and became rich.  He bought land and now she's rich.  She runs this organic farm, calls her staff slaves (although also seems to treat them quite well), has a Singapore movie currently being filmed at her premises, and she promotes a book that one of her staff wrote to help her to also become a millionaire.  We bought the book - it's about a woman's struggles and breakthroughs with cerebal palsy... a seemingly inspiring book and the woman, whom we also met, is inspiring in person too. 

Often people mistake my daughter and me for sisters.  This time was no different... however, the experience was certainly different.  Ivy told my daughter she can come work for her - although it's hard for an expat under 18 years old to get a work VISA (she'd let her work there anyway).  She said she was beautiful.  She wanted to know where her father was if Terry wasn't him.  She told us how she felt about children - hated them.  Never had them.  But she also said that I must love my daughter very much in order to have her and raise her.  She also demanded that we aren't Canadians... we must be Welch or something because of the color of our eyes.... and the fact that nobody is truly Canadian... which of course is true when you consider history.

Ivy recommended a couple of books about Singapore's history and educated us a little.  She has a bit of disdain for the past Prime Minister, Lee Kuan Yew.  Lee Kuan Yew has unified and globalized Singapore.  He has created a wealthy country with many jobs and international relations.  Progress is here.  The nation is prosperous.  But Ivy doesn't like the progress Singapore has made.  She feels her area of Singapore IS Singapore.  The shopping, tourism, city-life, etc. is not Singapore in her opinion.  The cleanliness and perfection is not authentic (I might agree with this part a little).  She even believes the thousands of trees planted on rooftops and along highways and in man-made parks should be more 'organic' and not so planned. 

Although Ivy had a negative nature, she was also interesting and light.  We quite enjoyed the chat and we'll definitely return for the food and atmosphere.  Oh, and Ivy drinks whiskey all day long.

While exploring Singapore, we visited Muslim, Hindu, and Chinese graveyards.  All of which were different.  The Muslim graves were full of trees and nature and exuded peace and beauty.  The Hindu graves were a little more concrete, but they also had lots of green and provided a beautiful place to pray or visit loved ones' resting spots.  The Chinese graves were concrete.  The newer ones were big, horseshoe shaped concrete structures about 2-3 feet high with grass in the center.  Concrete squares and walkways allow for burning things, which is a common ritual amongst the Chinese.  The older ones were not as large, but there was still a lot of concrete.  There were also folks selling flowers at stands (although there weren't a whole lot of flowers on graves... mostly trees)... and you could also purchase cold drinks from a van parked on the side of the road in the middle of all the grave sites.  I guess a market exists there.

Amongst the graveyards you will also find buildings that are designed in columns to hold cremated loved ones.  Because land is scarce in Singapore, this is one solution for efficient land use.

There were also several exhumation offices.  And in the Chinese graveyards, exhumation was in progress.  It's not uncommon for Singapore to exhume graves from sites in and around the city to build residential or commercial areas.  But I'm not sure why these graveyards were being exhumed since there didn't seem to be development in this particular area.

I should also mention our visit to the Dragon Kiln.  This is a pottery and clay studio and store.  The kiln is fired up only twice a year and holds 5,000-7,000 pieces!  It's huge.  And there was so much inventory!  A plethora of vases, plant pots, and jugs were for sale... many more than I would imagine there is a market for.  We asked one of the sales ladies if they export, but I don't think she understood what we were asking.  She did say they had a partnership with a company in China, who sent supplies to them.  We wandered around and found a little warf leading to a gazebo filled with chairs overlooking a pond filled with fish.  It was definitely another zen moment.  By the way, Martha Stewart visited the kiln a few years back.

On our weekend adventures we found a causeway that linked one area of Singapore to another.  Along the four lane highway, cars and trucks were parked.  So we did the same... parked and got out.  Well.... people brought along their lawn chairs and coolers, drinks, and snacks.  Ice cream stands peppered the roads.  Runner and bikers passed.  It was the image of a park!  But it wasn't.  It was a road.  Cement, concrete, and guard rails.  With a great view of the ocean on each side and a wonderful wind.. yep... wind!  We found a windy place in Singapore!  So couples and groups relaxed in their chairs while snacking, taking in the view, and feeling the life of the wind.  We walked along the concrete eating ice cream too.  And there was graffiti on the outer side of the guard rail!  Sacrilige!  Graffiti is an offence here and is severely punished.

One of our final stops was to a delicious Japanese restaurant.  The service was fun and friendly, the food was fantabulous, and the conversation with other Singaporeans who sat next to us was refreshing.  We sat at a group table with most of the table used as the cooking station.  The cook was from Malaysia.  He knew his food.  He was funny and provided great comic relief in addition to education.  Our neighbors were Singaporeans and had too much rice so shared it with us.  They'd been to Canada... Toronto of course.  Most people around here think Toronto is Canada.  The experience was just whetting our appetite for our trip to Japan next week!

It was a great weekend.  And I think progress is good (I also think preserving history and culture is good... always about balance).  I must go for a run around my man-made lake now.

Spear me

Last Thursday night we witnessed the Thaipusam parade.  Thaipusam is a Hindu celebration of thanks for prayers being answered and is in honor of Lord Subrahmanya, who represents virtue, youth and power.  The celebration is full of sacrifice and rituals and is open to the public!

Although the event was jam-packed, we managed to find a decent place to watch the parade.  The main spectacle is the many men who have spears pierced through their skin - backs, chests, legs, tongues - and either carry a cage-like structure adorned with colorful decorations and pictures of Hindu gods or pull an altar of sorts by hooks pierced into their back.  Ouch!  Women carry pots on their heads.  Families bring water and food and move through the parade together.  The journey is 4.5k... this is a long journey for these men.  At times they need to sit - a stool is provided and help is given for them to rest.  We saw one young guy... maybe a teenager... with a huge cage and many spikes get water given to him as he rested.  In addition to just walking this distance with sharp skewer looking things spiking through their bodies and much weight being carried, they danced.  Yes!  They did a little ritual dance and the families sang and drummed and chanted... it was a fanatastic spectacle.

The full celebration lasts for days, with fasting and offerings being made to Lord Subrahmanya.

In this case, pictures are definitely worth a thousand words.  It was difficult to capture on camera with the action and crowds, but here are a few (I apologize for the sideways photos... they aren't sideways on my computer, but I can't figure out how to post them here correctly)...



Walking on nails




One of the cage-like structures attached with spikes/spears




See the spiked tongue?




Each spear is driven into his skin




Water break



The event was vibrant and full of energy... just how gratitude should feel.

Maple glazed salmon, garlic mashed potatoes & sautéed asparagus

That's what I cooked for supper last night.  Hard to imagine, but I'm cooking quite regularly these days.  I pretty much stopped cooking for several years.  Didn't have time for it and rarely had enough food in the house for it.  Those that met me in recent years cannot believe that I cooked gourmet meals and baked exquisite desserts years ago.  It seems moving to Singapore has brought some stabilization to my life and, yes, I'm cooking!

Now that jet lag has subsided - it took a week to get back to normal sleeping! - I've also started running or walking in the early mornings.  Mornings are quite lovely here.  The air is cool this time of year... sometimes there's a slight breeze.  It's only around 28 degrees or so.  And people are out and about... young professionals on their way to work, aunties and uncles out for their walk or meeting friends for Kopi, grandpas and grandmas walking with babies in their arms, young mothers playing with their children by the pool, people running and biking, women buying vegetables and fruit in the markets, groups meditating... and groups flowing through their tai chi routines.  I have come to like my morning exercise.  I feel a part of the city's life. 

One morning I got caught in a torrential rain storm.  Within minutes I looked like I jumped into the pool with my clothes on... water dripping into my eyes from my hair.  As I made my way home, I crossed the community square... and there was a guy hosing down the concrete tiles... in the torrential rain.  I'm really not sure why.  He was a foreign worker, and some think it could be because his boss wouldn't let him do otherwise.  At least it's warm rain.

One of the highlights of living in Singapore is access to shows and events that we wouldn't have access to at home.  We went to the Rocky Horror Show last Friday night.  My daughter and I were 'virgins' (Terry was not but he saw the movie - phhtt!), but there were people in the audience who knew what to do.  Some were dressed up as the characters in the show... or just wearing wacky costumes.  Some knew when to shout what and we caught on pretty quickly.  And there was the dance... that was pretty easy to follow too.  We weren't allowed to throw rice or water, but someone in the audience threw toilet paper...at the right time.  It was great fun and all three of us were dancing and singing at the end having a blast.  Then... the most amazing thing happened.... the show received a standing ovation!!!!!!!!!!!  This does NOT happen in Singapore.  We've been to some outstanding shows... and no standing ovation.  Terry said it's only the second time he's witnessed a standing ovation in Singapore.

Later in the weekend Terry and I had our 'date day' and went to the Botanical Gardens.  If you're ever visiting Singapore, I highly recommend it.  We strolled around for three hours and it was beautiful and peaceful and zen-like.  It's a happy place.

So things are cooking here on the other side of the world.  I almost have my weekly (daytime) activities finalized.  Although the art course I was going to do is S$900!  For eight classes.  I kid you not.  Needless to say, I kyboshed that.  Maybe I'll end up in a tai chi class with all the aunties and uncles instead.

When in Rome... errr... Asia...

We're back!  We had a terrific time in Canada... Newfoundland... home.  And as anticipated, I've returned to Singapore a little more rejuvenated and a little heavier (so much fantabulous food!).  I ran in the cold a few times... I knew I missed it, but I missed it more than I knew.. but it wasn't enough to negate a little bit of weight gain.  'Tis all part of it though, right?

I was ready to return when we did.  My daughter, on the other hand, was not so hyped up to return.  That said, we had a little adventure on our way home... cancelled flight in Halifax... delayed flight in New York (and big fat snowflakes fell straight to the ground... absolutely delightful.... so we decided to plan a trip to NYC for next year)... and a missed flight in Tokyo, hence an overnight there.  That was great fun and we really liked the little bit of Tokyo that we saw.... mostly airport and hotel and the sights in between. 

Three days and four airlines later, we arrived in Singapore to Terry sporting a sign with our name on it at the airport... oh, and a welcome back sign in our apartment - we have pretty bare walls so I kept it there for a temporary decoration.

It's good to be back.  We have plans.  We have things to do before we move back home.  Places to see.  And a neck to fix.

Yes, I'm back to the bad neck.  It's never gone away.  Travelling for three days doesn't help it.  So yesterday, I decided to drop into a Chinese Medical Centre and ask about acupuncture.  English was minimal.  But so was the wait!  I was in and out of there with a treatment for only S$45 in 1/2 an hour!  No waiting for weeks or months to get an appointment.  Yippee!!!

Who said acupuncture doesn't hurt?  Most of it does not, that is true.  But with about 6-8 needles in my neck/back and four in my hands, it was not exactly the best feeling in the world.  The neck/back needles didn't hurt.  But as I waited under a heat lamp for 20-25 minutes, the doc returned a few times to twist the needles in my hands... and, yep, that hurt.  She twisted and I winced... and I'm voluntarily paying for this??  What is wrong with me?  I need more treatments - maybe not only acupuncture:)  Chinese medicine is sooo accessible here... I'm taking advantage while I can.  Bring on the needles!  And pain if that's what it takes.  I'm ready to fix this neck thing.

We're here in Singapore.  And we're drinking in the culture and opportunities in front of us.  That's what we came for.  And we don't have a whole lot of time left.

I just read about an event being held here on January 20th... the annual festival of Thaipusam.  It's full of rituals and sacrifices... and we're lucky enough to be here to witness it. 

Breaks and Break-Throughs

About two weeks have passed since my last post.  I can't say I'm too busy to write, but lots has happened.. and lots hasn't happened.

So the choir concert was a great success.  We entertained a crowd and later pulled others, including my daughter, on stage for a Christmas carol sing-a-long.  Terry and my teen were so proud of me.  Singing really isn't my talent, as I've said before.  But it was great fun.  And afterwards we wandered up Orchard Road, glimmering with Christmas lights and decorations, ate delicious sausage dogs - Terry got a beer... you can drink beer on the streets here - and marveled at how non-Christmassy it felt even though it's so decorated and we were wearing santa hats.  People stare because you're a 'westerner' but nobody seemed to notice the fact that we were the only ones wearing santa hats.  It all made waiting for the taxi less... ummm... more bearable.

Waiting for taxis has become annoying, to say the least.  According to one taxi driver, the number of taxis has not increased, while tourism due to the new casino here in Singapore has increased quite a lot.  One evening we were 20 minutes late for a show - Riverdance!  Awesome. - because of waiting and then traffic jams.  And many people arrived with and after us!  It's just something you have to accept when living here.

My daughter has finally begun to feel settled here in her new environment.... making some friends, getting a part as a Do Wop girl in the Little Shop of Horrors school production, dancng a 'flash mob' at school (and having her teachers comment on her great dancing and talk to her again about teaching at the school... yes, I'm a proud mama), singing in the Xmas concert (with only two other people - their choir has only THREE people in it!), and getting settled into the IB program.  IB is not a walk in the park, that's for sure.  Crazy.  But she's already starting to think differently.  I'm beginning to stop doubting that I made the right decision about IB.  Phew!

Culture Fest was a hit too.  I made molasses cookies and volunteered at the school for half the day.  It was delightful to talk to other parents (and eat some international foods!).  Now, I say culture fest was a hit... but the cookies I made were NOT!  What is wrong with teenagers... they wanted Rocky Roads and fancy chocolate cookies with sugary toppings.  What's up with that?!  I brought home almost 5 dozen of my 6 dozen cookies.... Terry's colleagues were happy, though.  Next time... forget trying to be too 'cultural'... bring on the chocolate!  How could I not have known this?  Chocolate is a staple in our household.

We also had a friend from Canada in Singapore!  My good friend's husband.  It was great to share dinner and walk around looking at the sights.  Made me want more visitors.  Come on people!  I'm unemployed and have lots of spare time to show you around!!  And I am actually beginning to feel like I know something about this place.  We went to a play last week called Cinderel-lah.  A local group performed a pantemime based on the story of Cinderella but with various Singapore sayings and points made... and I got most of it!  Four months in and I am laughing at local jokes like they are my own.  Not bad, lah.

So I guess lots of fun stuff is happening... not to mention just simply being immersed in a different culture.  I think we witnessed some sort of funeral one night... a parade of sorts drove up the road with music blaring out loud speakers and one of the trucks flahsed with lights and carried something adorned with flowers and decorations... it may have been the casket.  Another evening we saw a local wedding celebration taking place in the bottom space of the HDB... apparently they have funerals there too.  We've seen several getais (Chinese performances - no idea how to spell this word) around town.  And of course, now that we're out and about shopping a little more than usual, we've seen some things in stores that are... questionable... so many wild and different things.  Chinese medicine shops are everywhere and they sell everything from frog feet to lizard gizzards.  And in Little India you can find cow urine to bless your home.  Any requests?

A recruiter I met quite a while ago contacted me to see if I was still in the job market - I said I'm looking for short-term contracts.  The small contract for which I submitted a proposal hasn't come to fruition.  Funnily, though, I think this break from hectic days is exactly what I needed to push forward... wherever it is I'm going.  I'm still working on figuring that out... it's a work in progress, and suffice it to say, it's progressing.  But I have to admit, when I wrote the proposal, it felt like a part of my brain was awakened after a long hibernation.

For now, however, I'm sitting in the sun by the pool (sweating to death and just about to jump in), surrounded by palm trees and greenery and smells from the hawkers, while my daughter studies balance sheets and profit and loss statements by my side.  Things have changed for sure.

Oh, and we're going home for Christmas in four days.  Looking forward to breathing in a lung full of fresh, cold air.... quite opposite from the hot, humid jungle air I sucked in the other day while wandering around the Bukit Batok Nature Reserve (which was refreshing in a different way).  We're also looking forward to my mom's cooking.  And believe it or not, my daughter wants Chinese food.  Yep... the authentic Chinese food here is not like Canadian Chinese food... just like western food here is not like home.  But other authentic dishes are so incredibly delicious and scrumptious... Japanese, Indian, Korean, Mediterranean.... yum, yum, yum.

I'll return after January 9th with a renewed spirit and hopefully more concrete plans for filling my days (not that my days are bad, but I do need to work towards a goal or two:).

Namaste, and thank-you to all who read.  I've received many positive and supportive comments, which help ignite me when I think I have nothing to write.  Thank-you and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Flurry in Singapore

My Canadian friends are waking to snow flurries and scraping cars.  But flurry in Singapore has nothing to do with snow.  The other day we were driving in a taxi to Chinatown and observed the flurry of activity here.  It's always like it, though... it's not just because of the season.

The Housing Development Board buildings (HDBs) have either shops and food courts on the first floor or open space for tenants and owners to hang out, sometimes providing tables and chairs and TVs.  Many of them have a fitness area with simple fitness machines.  And people frequently use them... especially in the evening/night.  In Singapore, every male has to serve two years of national service after high school and two weeks per year after that until they are of a certain age.  Employers must give them the time off work without pay.  Females don't have to do it, but some choose to.  We wondered if these fitness areas were strategically placed by the government not only to encourage a healthy lifestyle to all, but to make fitness accessible to these men who have to return every year and be healthy and fit for their country.  Regardless, accessible free fitness facilities are definitely a good thing for any country.

So we made our way to Chinatown where we began our Christmas shopping!  Lots of tourists in this area of the city.  In the middle of Chinatown there is an empty space and a stage covered with a tent.  And we had free entertainment!  About 50-75 men and women danced their hearts out.  They knew the steps and danced to over a dozen songs while we watched.  I guess it was sort of line dancing, but not quite... a mix between line dancing, jazz, and hip hop.  I loved watching the uncles out there... some were quite good too.  It was great, and my daughter and I were itching to join the group.

On our way home from Chinatown, there was a Hindu festival in our community square.  It was Deepa Oli... I think it's an extension of Deepavali, which was in October.  Performers sang and danced, and the audience cheered and squealed.  There are always tents and chairs being set up in community squares around the city to celebrate something.  With four major cultures and religions residing here, a celebration is always on!

There is always a flurry of activity in Singapore.  People are active.  They go outside a lot.  It's nice to see.  I have a flurry of activities this week too.... meetings and culture fest and volunteering and choir and a concert performance.  And... some work.  Yep, I put it out there and now I'm submitting a proposal for a small contract.

As much as I needed to relax for a few months because of burnout... I love flurries.

Pretzels & Jokers

When you put a lot of effort into something and get no results, it's frustrating.  It's demotivating.  It's crap.  You know it's baby steps that matter, but you can't help a bit of negativity from seeping in.

Last week I announced my change in direction in my job search.  Finding a job here in Singapore as an expat without mulitnational experience in the Asia Pacific region is near impossible, and others will attest to that.  I guess I was lucky to get a couple of interviews.  However, I am no longer dedicated to that daily job search, and now I have to make an effort just to fill my weekdays with something.

Every Thursday evening Terry and I go to pretzel class.  This is yoga.  Very traditional style.  My instructor's master is a traditional Indian yogi who can still sit on the floor for hours at a time at 93 years old and not have any joint pain.  Yoga lifts my spirits like almost nothing else.  It always has.  This class is no different in that respect.  But it is different. 

There are yoga classes here in Singapore that are just like home... you pay $150 or so per month for a membership in a fancy studio and get choice for yoga and pilates workouts.  And... there's yoga at the local community centres where the cost is $75 for 10 classes.  Our class is small, comprised of women of all ages, except Terry.  We practice in a small room with bright lights.  I wasn't sure I was going to like these classes when I first joined.  Our instructor tries new poses on us each week, and we try to improve the ones we already know.  Many of the positions I already know, some are new.  I've prided myself in my 20s and 30s to continue to be almost as flexible as I was at 17.  But my body just does not fold into some of these traditional positions.  They look so easy.  Why are the aunties able to do them and not Terry and me?  Regardless, at the end of class, Terry and I smile and glow and I feel like I have the most energy I've had all week.

This week, I needed that pretzel class more than most weeks.

Because my time is no longer being spent on that daily job search, I've also joined a joker group.  That's choir.  The one for non-singers.  The group is welcoming and fun and funny.  Jokers.  There are good singers in it, and we actually don't sound too bad.  The women are from all over the world including Singapore.  Our 'director' is the guitarist who plays by ear, so we have the words to the songs but no sheet music.  We applaud for ourselves after every song.  It's truly uplifting.  Our first concert is next Friday night at the Scottish bar.

The joker class couldn't have come at a better time.

And when you use laughter and meditation as your guides, you find your answers.  I've decided to volunteer and take a course.  Yes, spend money and not make it.  I've put feelers out there for contract work from my Canadian colleagues so maybe I will have a small income if that works out.  Ultimately, though, I live in a new country.  I uprooted my entire life and moved here so I could have new experiences and grow both professionally and personally.  I've been here over 3 months and it's incredibly difficult to create a social network without a job or being part of something. 

The last few weeks I've been wound up like a pretzel trying to find a job, find a job, find a job.  Now I'm just going to focus on filling my life.  Obviously, the universe has something else in store for me and I am finally willing to surrender to it.  What a relief!

I'll Be Home For Christmas...

My daughter is auditioning for her school production this week and needs to perform a solo song and a soliloquy.  She has no problem singing solo but is nervous about the acting.  So in attempts to help her, Terry decided to offer that I would sing two Christmas songs if she practiced her soliloquy in front of us!  I think he secretly just wanted a reason to get me to sing because he's never heard me.

She did a great job practicing.  I, on the other hand, do not have much of a note in my head.  I can play instruments and I can dance, but singing is not a talent of mine.  I was completely off key, but I sang nevertheless - because it was for the good of my daughter.  After my singing debut, we continued to sing Christmas carols while Terry played the guitar.  And the excitement for Christmas began.

We'll be home for Christmas.  We'll have lived in Singapore for four months and will visit home for two weeks.  It's far away and expensive and we hadn't planned on going home for Christmas.  But we are completely happy with our decision. 

The festivities of the holiday season have begun here in Singapore as well.  We strolled through a few shopping areas over the weekend and streets and storefronts and malls are decorated in fine style (the picture of the tree above is from Vivo City rooftop).  The lighting ceremony for Orchard Road (shopping area) was on Saturday night.  Concerts are planned for coming weeks.  The Nutcracker is next week - gotta get tickets.  Santa is going to be here for photos next week.  (By the way, there's a job for a Santa's helper... you dress up and take photos with kids.  I seriously considered applying for it.  I have experience as Easter Bunny's helper afterall.)  I think Christmas in Singapore is very much like Christmas in NL... except no mummering and no family.  And no parade.  And no snow... actually it's sunny and humid as always.

Speaking of singing, I've been invited to join a choir.  It's a choir for people that can't sing.  Seriously.  A bunch of expat non-singers go to a Scottish bar owned by a Singaporean every Thursday morning for choir practice.  And we're going to do Christmas carol concerts too.

Changing Course

Wednesday past was Hari Raya Haji.  It's the Muslim "Festival of Sacrifice" - a commemoration of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son for God.  We understood there would be a celebration of sorts in an area of town we hadn't visited before and made our way there to be 'cultured'.  It turned out there was no celebration.  The day was one of prayer spent with family.  Many shops were closed. 

So we made our way to East Coast Park to ride bikes instead.  The park was crowded but we had a ball riding our bikes with wind going through our hair (helmetless) and flip flops on our feet.  Sacrilege, I know! 

Changing direction was the answer for Wednesday.  And it's the answer for my job search woes.  The job search is practically halted.  I've been rejected, ignored, and given poor direction by companies, recruiters, and coaches.  I'm not throwing in the towel.  But you know the how the saying goes, you can't expect different results if you keep doing the same thing.

So I'm changing course and right now I have no idea where I'll land.  Exciting, no?  Well, once I figure out a few things, I'll make a plan - you know me!  I'll have a plan that can (and will) be changed:)

By the way, I've also changed my running practice.  When I'm home in Canada, I absolutely love running outside in nature, on trails, around lakes, up hills... Here, I've taken to the treadmill in the gym and the first class outdoor running track 10 minutes from our condo (in the evening).  I still need a 'boot in the arse' to get going.

Celebrate good times... come on!

Last Friday was Deepavali - the Hindu Festival of Lights where they celebrate goodness in their lives.  It was also a public holiday and we took advantage and took a trip to the east coast of Malaysia.

We began our trip with knapsacks on our backs in a queue (always a queue here, never a line-up) at the Singapore bus terminal.  About 300 people were in front of us.  We decided to get a taxi.  It was less than $5 to the immigration point... why were people lined up??  So we passed through immigration on the Singapore end quickly - yay!  But the queue outside to get the bus across to Malaysia was another 2 hour wait.  We waited.  And waited.  And when we got a bus we got seats!  Yippee!  We're on our way after a long, hot wait.  When we reached Malaysia immigration, the queue was another couple of hours.  Yes, seriously.  And we queued.

When we finally made it through immigration, we were in a crowded shopping mall.  People were going to Malaysia to shop for the day.  Why you would spend 4+ hours lining up to shop when there's so much shopping at your fingertips in Singapore escapes me, but it was what most of the people were doing.  Maybe there was a sale.

Anyway, off we went in search of our car!  Yes!  We rented a car!!  We found it after some traipsing around Johor Bahru (JB)... on foot... with knapsacks on our backs.  JB was busy and somewhat run down with a few new buildings standing out.  I've read that JB wants to be a shopping destination, so I believe it has invested in some fixing up.

By the time we started our road trip, it was 5pm - we had a 6 hour drive ahead of us.  It rained - a lot.  But the ride was still fun.  We had a car!  We all sensed a longing for the convenience of a car (and this morning when we could not get a taxi because it was raining and too busy, we wished we had one!).

Our non-backpacker accommodations were in Cherating.  This town is quiet and full of backpacker and surfer types.  It has many accommodations and a decent beach.  Its laissez faire atmosphere reminded me of home a little.  Service providers were helpful and friendly and nothing was timed.  If you wanted to surf... well, you waited to see if there were waves and if not, you come back later to see.  Later in the night, we went to a laid back restaurant where Bob Marley played.  It had the best pizza!  My daugther loved the environment - a future backpacker for sure.

Saturday was sunny.  We met Hafiz, who took us on a mangrove tour.  He was incredibly knowledgeable.  We saw four snakes, three lizards, bright blue crabs, two Kingfishers (birds), and a wack of jungle.  Hafiz also conducted firefly tours, which only happened at night if it didn't rain.  Lucky for us, it rained... it poured... but it stopped just before the tour time!  And Hafiz educated us on fireflies and brought us on a tour down the river.  I had never seen a firefly... let alone thousands of them!  They twinkled in the trees and flew over to our boat.  My daughter caught at least two and I caught one.  They were teensy.  It's amazing how bright they shine.  It was the festival of lights, alright.  Hafiz was a wonderful guide, too, and we chatted with he and his wife about how they are saving to someday go to Mecca.  He was also excited to share with me a few things he knows about meditating - they asked about my 'om' necklace and it started a conversation about yoga and meditation.

In between our two tours, we went driving.  There were no waves for surfing so we decided to see some of the country... and I drove... on the left side of the road... in some pretty busy traffic.  I have to admit that I was totally pumped to do this.  And stressed after an hour of it.  Thanks to Terry's exploratory nature, though, we found the most amazing beach with a wild wind and fierce ocean waves.  The beach was sandy and long and nobody was on it.  Probably because it's monsoon season and the water was dangerous.  Our beach in Cherating was safe, though, and I was successful is persuading Terry (not my daughter however) to swim in the rain.  I now have flybites all over my feet and bottoms of my legs - I'm thinking sand flies from that lovely swim.

It rained again on Sunday and we made our way back to Singapore - this time getting a taxi to cross the border and it took only 15 minutes!!!

Our three day trip entailed two days of driving, lots of rain, line-ups, no waves for surfing, and a really great time.  It really is what you make of it.

Today is my daughter's 17th birthday.  She is without friends.  She missed dance class this morning because the taxis were fully booked due to the rain.  Her hair didn't cooperate.  And we're celebrating another beautiful year this evening with presents and dinner (I'm cooking!!!!  Eeek!) and cake.  The dining room is already adorned with flowers and balloons - thanks to Terry.

Expats vs. expats

People come to Singapore for many reasons.  We came by choice.  We wanted an international experience (OK, OK, I admit it, it was more 'me' than Terry since he'd already had several international experiences and had moved back to NL to 'settle'... oops!).  Singapore had limited barriers - English speaking country, excellent education, international HUB and growing economy, allowed to 'live together' without marrying, and a large expat community. 

Although I'm happy to be immersed in a different culture - and where I live it's a totally different culture... we even have the older men playing checkers at the hawkers stands downstairs - meeting others with similar experiences definitely makes you feel more normal.  Last night I attended an expat job seeking event (in a great pub with beer and snacks - after months of very limited western foods, deep fried calamari and chicken strips are food for the soul!).  A couple of guys spoke about their job search experiences.  Simply put... it resonated. 

These guys were 'trailing spouses' - one spouse gets a contract (usually big bucks) and the other spouse follows and is coined the trailing spouse.  Most trailing spouses I've met are women.  It was refreshing to see male trailing spouses.  Anyway, they spoke of their trying times when they first arrived... months of endless job searching... interviews that went horribly... comments from interviewers like, "you must not be searching hard enough for a job if you're applying for this low level position"... the list goes on.  So one guy ended up back in school after 30 years experience.  The other guy took a much lower level job after working with an international company in management for many years.

Both guys talked about their days of sitting in front of the computer... not talking to other adults (except their spouse) for days... and then... voila!  They met each other.  They had weekly coffee to keep each other's spirits up.  And two years later they are both working and happy.

Some advice given was to lower your expectations so you can get a job and learn the culture.  Work is very process oriented here.  You get task lists each week and you're expected to complete the tasks.  My work friends are now raising their eyebrows wondering how on earth I'm going to survive!  It's true... it might be tough... yes, yes... it WILL be tough.  But I came here to learn new ways of doing things.  I might be fired!  My mind doesn't stop creating and finding ways of improvement (well, I think so... it doesn't mean something is actually going to improve:) and keeping my ideas to myself will be a challenge in itself.  Self restraint is a good lesson.

All in all, a good evening and very good to know I'm not the only one progressing slowly in the job search. 

So today I met with another kind of expat - a group of female trailing spouses, most of which have no intention of working while living here and some of which are retired.  Work was not the topic of conversation - at all.  We talked about running and swimming and biking and reading and traveling and yoga and things to do in Singapore... and teenagers.

One of the ladies moved here when her daughter was my daughter's age.  It was a year of hell - sobbing night after night missing friends and not making new ones. (Thank goodness my daughter is not nearly as bad as that!)  The second year was magnificent.  And now that the daugher has moved back to Canada for university, she wants to move back to Singapore!  Another lady said her son, who was around the same age as my daughter when they moved to Europe, took a long time to meet friends, but once he met them, they were very good friends.  Another lady gave me the number of another lady who has a daughter who is a social butterfly and a year younger than my daughter and said we should try to introduce them.  Phew!  I know, I know.... gotta read that a couple of times... the point is that we're only here 2 1/2 months and it's completely normal for a 16 year old to not have made close friends yet.  And there's huge hope for my daughter to develop her social side normally!!  Yippee!

I'm going to that morning coffee thing again in a couple of weeks.  Geez, I hope I don't have a job by then!